Straight from the Journal of Tim McGee
by Partners In Fanfic
Summary: This is a collection of oneshots about McGee's reactions to scenes and episodes in NCIS. Better summary inside. **Eventual spoilers for any episode containing McGee** **Rated T for some minor language**
1. First Day

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

**Summary: **Out of all the Team Gibbs members, McGee seems like the type that would keep a journal. So, this will be a collection of oneshots basec McGee's reactions to scenes and episodes throughout the course of the seasons. Simple enough, right?

_Dear readers,_

_This is basically a spinoff of my other fic, Musings of the Sound Technicians. Of course, I'm not sure how successful this story will be, so let me know if I should continue. Read and enjoy!_

_Yours in fanfic,_

_EAJP_

**This chapter is based off _See No Evil_ (ep. 2.01)**

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September 28, 2004_

These last few weeks have probably been the hardest of my life. I never thought of my job as difficult before – that is until I met Gibbs. I've been working with him on his cases, and he's probably the toughest boss I've ever met.

And to make matters worse, today I became an official member of his team! Alright, maybe I shouldn't say that it's making matters worse – I actually like working for him, a little at least.

There have been so many rumors about Team Gibbs that have floated around NCIS, and now I finally got to meet the people at the root of all the rumors!

To be truthful, they're not as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Sure, they are intimidating, but they're just regular people. After working with them for awhile, I really got to see the different sides of them.

Kate and Tony keep picking on me, though. I know I sound like a kindergartener, but they do! And you'd think I would learn to stop falling for their jokes, but do I? No. I swear, one of these days I'll get them back.

Kate's not that bad though. Sure, she makes fun of me, but she also stands up for me. I think we'll get along just fine.

Gibbs still scares me a little, though. I never know what he wants me to do, yet he makes it seem like I should. And I always manage to mess up at the worst times. I guess I'll have to work on that. After all, I really want to impress him and show him that I'm a good choice for his team. Well, I guess he saw something in me, so I better not make him regret his decision.

One of the best parts of working here, though, is that I get to see Abby more often than I did. I can see her every day! I know we went our separate ways (sort of), but we're still good friends, and we still care about each other. That much I know.

This last case was extremely strange. I'll give you a quick recap. There was a little girl and her mother who were kidnapped. We found them, but then it turned out that the captain (who was the girl's father) had set it up so they would be kidnapped so he could get money. When Gibbs found that out, I thought he would go ballistic.

The coolest part of the case was that the girl was blind (that's not the cool part), so she depended on her hearing for everything. Basically she had bionic ears. Really, she ended up playing a major part in solving the case. She and Abby really hit it off, too.

Well, if all the cases are as difficult as they've been when I wasn't a member of Team Gibbs, I have a feeling this isn't going to be as easy as it was at Norfolk. Who am I kidding; I _know_ it's not going to be as easy as it was at Norfolk!

Well, I better go. Gibbs wants me to get some paperwork done, and I really don't want to give him a reason to headslap me on my first official day here. Wish me luck – lots of luck. After all, I need it.

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**Let me know if you think I should continue or not. I know this chapter isn't the best, but they'll get better...I promise.  
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	2. Meet the Team and Get a Tat

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Well, there's a few things I want to clear up. 1.) the dates on these journal entries are from the dates the episodes aired. I'm not sure if I'll be changing how I do the dates, but for now, that's that. 2.) I'll be jumping around stories and chapters, just like my other stories. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

****FYI: These last two chapters have just been introductions to the story. I'll now start doing specific scenes and that kind of stuff.*****

**This chapter is for ., who suggested it (seriously I think you're like Gibbs...I was going to do this one, and then I see that you suggested it). Hope you enjoy it!**

****From _Sub Rosa _(ep. 1.07)  
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November 18, 2003_

Well, today I met the infamous Team Gibbs for the first time. Let me tell you something – all the rumors about them being tough to get along with – they're true, at least to a point.

Gibbs is almost impossible to deal with. He expected me to know what he wanted done without him even saying anything! I think he took a little pity on me, but not much. Even if he is impossible to deal with, he's kind of nice – to Abby and Ducky, that is.

Kate is nice. There's really not much to say about her. I don't think she's been with them long, but she definitely has some Team Gibbs qualities. I think she kind of took pity on me.

Tony is, well, Tony. I don't think there's any other way to describe him. He's goofy, annoying, and childish. But he's also serious and a good agent. I don't think he really likes me though, unless he picks on me because he cares.

Ducky (Doctor Mallard) is really nice. He tends to go off on long rants, but I actually don't mind listening to him. He talks to his corpses though, which is obviously an everyday occurrence. I thought it was weird at first, but no one even blinked at it, so I hid my surprise.

Abby is something else. She's quirky, pretty, and happy all the time. Really, I think she could be the one for me. I was asking Tony about her, and he told me that she would never go for a guy like me. I thought he was right for awhile there – after all, why would a beautiful girl like her even bother with me - but then I actually met Abby. She seemed to like me, and I really liked her. I mean, it was beyond what I was expecting.

Tony told me the only way to even get her to look at me was to get a tattoo. Well, to be truthful, I was willing to do whatever it took. I got one on my butt that says, "Mom."

You should have seen the look on Tony's face when I told him! When I got on the elevator, Tony was standing in front of it, speechless. I felt kind of proud to leave him like that. After all, I don't think anyone else ever did that to him.

I don't know if I'll be working with Team Gibbs any time in the future, but half of me hopes I do. Yeah, it's probably the half that desperately wants to see Abby, but still, I liked being around the action and getting out in the field.

The other, more sensible half of me is telling me to stay the heck away from them. I don't think I have what it takes to be like them. Maybe in time, but right now, I'm kind of content at Norfolk where the most I have to deal with is an overheated computer.

I hope I didn't get Gibbs too angry while I was working with him. He scares me half to death, and when I get nervous, I stutter. I could tell it was bothering him. I really don't want to get off on the wrong foot with anyone.

I know I'm going to be working with them at least a few more days. I have to update their software and whatnot while I have the chance. Let's just hope that Tony and Kate stop picking on me – and that I get to see Abby a little more.

Well, I better go. I need get some rest if I'm going to be running around with the best of them tomorrow. Working with Team Gibbs, even if it was for only one case, took a lot out of me.

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	3. Just Not Fit For It

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Sorry I haven't updated in a couple days. I was trying to figure out which episode to do next. Well, here it is! This is only from the beginning part of the episode though, right before Tony came to cheer him up. I thought it would be a good journal entry for poor Timmy. Read and enjoy!_

**From episode Probie (ep. 3.10)**_  
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November 29, 2005_

I can't believe I shot a guy. We're not even completely sure he was a bad guy either. The first time I shoot (and kill) a guy, and it turns out that I probably shouldn't have shot him to begin with. It figures with my luck.

This has to be an omen. Some greater force is telling me that I shouldn't be an agent, and honestly I think I should listen to it. Maybe I should just go back to Norfolk. There, all I did was computer stuff, and that was fine by me. I wasn't a danger to society there.

I can't believe I actually thought I have what it takes to be on Gibbs' team. I mean, really, who was I trying to fool? I guess myself, really. Obviously everyone else realizes that I shouldn't – Gibbs won't even let me work on the case to make things right.

Everyone else on the team deserves to be in the job they have. Honestly, I don't know why I'm a field agent.

Think about it: Tony was a cop – he's basically _made_ for a job like this. He's athletic and he's got street sense. What more can someone look for in a field agent?

Gibbs is a Marine and a sniper. He can probably break someone's neck without breaking a sweat. Do I even need to say more?

Ziva, well God. I don't even want to know what she did with Mossad. She can probably kill someone quicker than even _Gibbs_ can. She's basically a perfect field agent.

And me? What do I have to contribute? I graduated from MIT. That's it. I'm a genius at computers, but so is Abby. Heck, Abby's even better than I am. So why am I even here? Abby can do my job – she must have done it before I came. No one would even notice if I left.

Honestly, I don't know why Gibbs keeps me around. That's pretty bad when even _I _don't know why _I _am in the job I'm in.

I don't know why I thought I was cut out for this job to begin with. I should have listened to my parents and did something safer. I knew they weren't necessarily happy I went into NCIS – now I see why.

I think tomorrow I'll ask to be transferred back to Norfolk. It's seems that I'm doing more harm than good where I am now, anyway. I never seem to do what Gibbs wants me to do, and I always seem to make him mad. I bet he's thinking about getting rid of me anyway – after all, I must be giving him a headache with this whole mess.

Maybe I'll just hand in my gun and badge instead. I'm not cut out for this. I can't kill people for a living! I'm just not that type of person. Before now, the only things I've killed are bugs and the zombies on my MMORPG games. Those things are easy to kill – humans not so much.

Although, if I leave, I think I'll disappoint my parents more than when I joined NCIS to begin with. My dad doesn't like quitters – he wasn't one, that's for sure. Maybe I should just go back to Norfolk. At least I'll still be in NCIS.

Or maybe this is all some kind of huge test, either from God, or the Director, or God-only-knows who else. Maybe they're trying to see if I'll take the easy route and leave or be tough and get through this mess. Normally I would try to prove myself, but now I'm just sick of always doing it the hard way. Maybe it's time that I took the easy way out for once.

I have to go. Someone's knocking. I wonder who I can be. At this rate, it's probably someone with more bad news. Knowing my luck it will probably be because of something I did, too. I swear, sometimes I have the worst luck in the whole entire world.

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	4. Say Hello to Ziva

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Well, here's another chapter for you! Not much to say, so...Read and enjoy!!!!!_

**This chapter is for ., who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it!**

****From episode Silver War (ep. 3.04)**  
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October 11, 2005_

Well, today a new member has been added to Team Gibbs. Ziva David, a Mossad officer, has become a liaison for NCIS, and now she's on our team.

This isn't the first time I've met Ziva. She came right after Kate died to stop Gibbs from killing Ari, even though Ari died in the end anyway. I guess you could say we didn't get off on the best foot, considering we really were on opposite teams, but I think it might be interesting having her around.

She's actually a nice person, although I don't think many people see her as that. Sure, I was wary of her at first, but I don't think there's anything to worry about with her – yet.

How can I describe Ziva? Actually, I don't think there are any specific adjectives out there. 'Crazy ninja' might be a good phrase.

She messes up her English a lot, so it's kind of hard to understand her, but usually I can decipher what she's trying to say. It's mostly her idioms, but I can see why she messes them up. Some of them make absolutely no sense – and Ziva seems to be the one to point this out.

She can be scary at times though. I'd hate to see the extent of what she can actually do. She's already threatened to kill Tony with a paperclip, and honestly, I believe she can do it. Mossad is a tough agency, so I bet she has a lot of training.

The rest of the team really has mixed emotions about her. Really, I don't know why, but I guess to each its own.

I can't tell if Gibbs likes her or not. After all, Gibbs is hard to read. He seemed really angry at first that she was there, but I think he's slowly beginning to accept her – slowly. It will probably take him a few weeks – or months (or years) – to fully recover from her arrival.

Director Sheppard definitely likes her. I think they knew each other from awhile ago, so I guess you can call them friends.

I like her, too. She's brings a nice change to NCIS. And besides, it's really nice to have someone that knows less about NCIS than I do. Even though Tony stills calls me Probie, at least I'm not the newest one to Team Gibbs.

Abby – surprisingly – doesn't like her at all. I took her down to the lab, and Abby barely looked at her. That's really not common for Abby. Unless you're a criminal of some sorts, Abby will accept you almost right away.

I think Abby thinks that she's trying to take the place of Kate. I can see how Abby thinks that, but I don't think Ziva is. No one can replace Kate. Heck, no one can really replace _anyone_. I don't know the real reason Ziva's here, but I don't think it's to replace Kate. If Director Sheppard wanted to replace Kate, she would have given us another agent awhile ago.

Oh well, I guess Abby will eventually warm up to her – once she comes to terms with Kate's death, that is. Give her time and she always comes around. Maybe I'll talk to her about it. Then again, I don't want to have bruises on my arms from where she would probably punch me after calling me names.

I can't tell if Tony likes her or not. Well, I shouldn't say that. What I should say is that I can't tell _how much_ Tony likes her. He seems to stare at her until she catches him, and then continues his work for about two minutes. Then he starts to stare at her again until she catches him. It's like a game between them or something.

You know how they say 'love at first sight'? Well, I think that Tony might just have found his love at first sight. Call me crazy, but I can see those two breaking rule twelve – not soon, but in the future. Sure, Tony flirts with almost everything in a skirt, but this seems different. I don't know how to describe it, but it has something to do with the look in his eyes. Don't ask me how I know this, but call it a gut feeling.

Another gut feeling I have is that my work day is going to get a lot more interesting now that Ziva is here. The banter that has already started between her and Tony is going to keep me amused while I fill out my paperwork. Hey, maybe Tony will even pick on me less! Somehow I doubt it, but one can hope, right?

Well, I should stop typing now. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow – and Ziva wants me to show her around a little bit. I have a feeling I'll need a lot of rest to keep up with her.

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**Any suggestions? Scenes? Episodes? Lemme know.**

**McGee's take on TIVA and JIBBS coming up soon!  
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	5. Bigger Devotions

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Here's another chapter for you!_

**The last chapter was for natasha ciara isabella sabio. I don't know why it didn't show up. This chapter is also for her. Hope you enjoy it!**

_**From Twisted Sister (ep. 4.09)**  
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November 21, 2006_

Am I devoted to my job at NCIS? You bet. I would do anything for my job and for my team. But there's one devotion that outweighs that – the devotion to my sister.

When my sister showed up at my door with blood covering her, honestly I didn't know what to think. The only thing I knew was that I had to help her – and not tell anyone until I figured out how. I could have cared less about the rules at the time. I knew that everyone would jump to the wrong conclusions, and I was right. I had to take matters into my own hands.

I never did that before. Rules have always been the things that keep me sane. Whether it be NCIS' rules, Gibbs' rules, or just the rules of society, I always make sure I follow them. For some reason, I didn't care if I ever followed a rule again in my life.

When we finally figured out who the person was that framed my sister, I was ready to kill who did it. I really didn't care it was a girl – I just wanted her to suffer as much as she made my sister suffer. I wanted her to feel the pain that she put my sister through.

I never felt that before. I guess it was a desire for revenge, but I never felt it. I really can't even explain it. It was some sort of burning feel in the pit of my stomach that eventually spread all over. It clouded my vision, my judgment, everything. Surprisingly, it felt good though. It felt good to have a goal – even if it wasn't the best of goals.

Even after all that (which gives me a lot to think about), I can't shake the memory of handing my gun and badge in to Director Sheppard. She had me so mad then. I couldn't believe she thought that I would choose my job over my sister. Doesn't she have any family – anyone she loves?

Sure, Gibbs said it's her job to do that, but it was a low blow to me all the same. Do people really think I'm that spineless, that I would go against blood relationships just to do what's supposedly 'right'? Well, Director, think again.

I had to prove myself. I had to show who was more important. That's why I didn't answer Gibbs when he was calling my name. For once, I wanted someone to prove themselves to _me_. If he wanted to talk to me, he had to show me. And he did.

I was surprised he wasn't mad. In fact, I think I saw a little bit of pride in Gibbs' eyes that I stood up to him and the Director like that. It felt good to know that he would probably do the same thing, and that he was on my side. It gave me the reassurance I needed to keep working on the case – even though I didn't need much.

I know Gibbs was disappointed in me, though. Not because I didn't tell him, but because I didn't come to him for help. Honestly, I felt it was something I needed to do myself. I owed it to my sister. She's been so supportive of me, and the least I could do was clear her name.

Thinking back, I would do all of it again in a heartbeat. I wouldn't change anything. I think it really helped me prove myself. I wasn't trying to prove myself to anyone, but in the end, I feel that I did. Mainly, I got self satisfaction out of it. It made me feel like I could do something important for someone.

I just hope Sarah stays out of trouble. I know for sure I'll be watching her like a hawk from now on – I really can't afford to have her get drugged again. That just takes way too much out of me.

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	6. Have a Little Faith

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. I'm sorry I haven't updating in awhile! I've been super busy between school and other fics, but I promise I'll be working on some more soon. Don't worry about your suggestions, I'll be getting to them! Read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for SeaTrollTakeover, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it!**

_****From episode, Faith (ep. 7.10)****  
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December 24, 2009_

For once, I did something against the rules and actually had no regrets about it. Abby wanted me to use MTAC to help her friend's nephew talk to his mother (it was his Christmas wish), and at first I was hesitant. After all, Gibbs would have my butt if he found out. But, Abby eventually broke me down and I got the time to do it.

I thought that the kid wouldn't appreciate it, but I was wrong. The minute I saw his face light up with pure joy, I knew I did the right thing. I don't care if Gibbs headslaps me to next week and back. I wouldn't do anything differently.

It felt really good to give back to people, even if it was Abby's friend. I spend so much time at NCIS giving people bad news and telling them that people they trusted weren't so trustworthy in reality, that I kind of lose touch with what's good in the world.

I guess I really did it for Abby though. If she asked me enough times to jump off a bridge, I think eventually I would do it. I just can't say no to her. I guess it's because of the past we have together, but I really care for her, and I'll never stop caring. Every time I hear her talk about dating a different guy, I cringe on the inside. That should be me – _should_ – but it never will be. Not in this life, at least.

At least I can make Abby happy. The look on her face was priceless when I told her that I got the satellite time. I bet she thought I wouldn't do it. Then again, she trusts me more than anyone else.

Oh well, why dwell on my life? Gibbs' father was in town. I like Jackson – he's like Gibbs, yet without the entire mean, coffee-drinking Marine there. I could get used to having him around, but sadly he's going home soon.

I can't believe that Gibbs never brought his father around before. I only wish mine would come down to see what I'm doing. Oh well, that's Gibbs for you – he does everything in his own time.

Gibbs and his father have gotten closer since we first met him, though. Every once in awhile I hear Gibbs calling him – but that's only when he thinks no one is around. I always walk away and go to Abby's lab when he's on the phone – I wouldn't want to interrupt any father-son moments.

I'm glad that Gibbs is getting closer to his father, though. I think everyone is. Gibbs needs someone to be close to like that. I mean, let's face it, Gibbs isn't Superman (as much as everyone likes to think he is). He needs to have good relationships with the people that have had a major influence in his life; at least that's what my dad and mom always taught me.

The case was really a blur to me. It wasn't anything to specifically remember since there was everything else going on. Oh well, I'm sure there will be another murderous Christmas present waiting for us December 26th.

All in all, I think this will be a Christmas to remember. We're all going over to Ducky's tomorrow like we did on Thanksgiving. That reminds me, I still have to wrap Tony's present. I hope he likes it – it's a complete _James Bond_ collection.

It's kind of like I told Abby earlier today – all you got to do is have a little faith. When you have a little faith, anything can happen.

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	7. Tony On My Six

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS, OR TIM MCGEE FOR THAT MATTER...WHICH IS PART OF NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Sorry this one took awhile! I've been sick the last couple days, so I haven't been writing as much. I apologize if this is a little on the short side. I promise I'll have a longer one coming up soon. Anyway, no excuses. Read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for dakota doc, who suggested ****it. Hope you enjoy it!!!=D**

**_Set after Inside Man (ep. 7.03)_  
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6 October 2009_

A few words come to mind when most agents – and people in general - think of Tony Dinozzo: Irritating, childish, comedic relief, pompous, and sometimes degrading. Mostly negative, right? Yeah, that's the usual connotation when people first meet Tony.

Sure he has his faults, and those are probably the words I would describe him as on a daily basis too. But I have two more words to add to my personal list of Dinozzo-adjectives: my partner. Having a partner is like having an older brother. They pick on you and tease you (just like Tony), but in the end you can count on them to be there.

I really like having Tony as a partner. Alright, technically I'm not his only partner, because after all there is Ziva, but Ziva came later. Anyway, I still like him. Tony never makes me feel like a third wheel when Ziva's around, even if the only way I feel included is by him picking on me. I guess it's the thought that counts.

As much as I complain about Tony being annoying, he's a really good agent. I'd never tell him this, but in some ways, I look up to him. Not as much anymore, but on some things I followed his example and it ended getting me a 'good job' from Gibbs. That shows Tony must be doing something right.

I don't know how, but he always manages to bring out a different side of me. Today, we got arrested for breaking into a impound yard, for crying out loud! I would have never done that on my own. The only reason I did it was basically because Dinozzo pestered me. I'd never admit it, but it was kind of fun – exhilarating even. What made it even better was the fact that Vance got the charges expunged. I'm not saying that I'm going to go break into places again, but I'm not as scared of it now.

You know, I really wish I could work with Tony more. I think that if Gibbs made us spend a little more time together, I could show Tony that I'm not the geeky Probie that I was when I first started. When Ziva was gone, he and I got to spend a lot more time together – not that I don't want Ziva to be here. I love that Ziva's back and I wouldn't want her to ever leave again. It's just that I got to see a completely different side of Tony when she wasn't here.

When Ziva was in Somalia, I saw what Tony was hiding under all his false charm and fake smiles. I realized that he's just a weary agent like me or Gibbs. Things actually _do_ affect him and make him upset. It was really good to see him exposed like that (not that I liked to see him in pain) because it gave me good insight as to who he is.

Ah well, he's bounced back from that and is back to hiding behind his mask – not that I mind. It's the Tony that I'm used to dealing with, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think Tony's beginning to think of me as more of an equal. Sure, he still bosses me around and calls me Probie, but he's been doing it differently now – almost like he's doing it just because he feels he has to.

In any case, Tony is my partner, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even though he never says it, I know that he has my back. And even though I never tell him it, I have his back too.

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	8. Don't Want to Prove Myself

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS. DIDN'T CHANGE.**_

_EAJP here. Alright, here's another chapter for you! This is basically McGee's frustrations. I mean, he has to get frustrated sometime, right? Anyway, read and enjoy!!!_

****This is not set after any particular episode. It's basically just right before we see McGee becoming more confident in Season 7*****_  
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8 May 2009_

I am sick of proving myself. I'm sick of trying to show people I'm more of an agent than they think I am. I'm just so tired of messing up. I'm so sick of giving people reasons to believe I'll never be more than what I am now. I'm tired of never living up to the standards everyone else sets. I guess I'm just sick of being 'Probie'.

I guess this feeling was a long time coming. I mean, I've probably always felt this, but pushed it down. There's really no reason to now. Why deny the undeniable? I mean, I've given Gibbs and the rest of the team every reason to see me as a good agent, yet I've also given them every reason to doubt I should even be carrying a gun.

I don't see why my faults always have to be the ones pointed out. Every time Dinozzo does something wrong, it's up to me to fix it so he looks good in front of Gibbs. Yet, when I screw up, Tony's the first person to announce it.

When I first came here, Abby told me the teasing would get better. Has it? No. Every day, I come in to work from a long night of writing to catch up with my deadline, only to have to deal with Tony's sarcastic comments. They say people tease others because they care – I'm beginning to think that only applies to grade school.

I don't mind Tony as a person – really, I'm not saying I hate him. It's just that working with him as an agent is hard, mainly because he has such a big head about things. For awhile I just kind of accepted it, but this is getting ridiculous. He treats Ziva as more of an equal than me, and I've been here longer than she has. That's probably because he knows that Ziva will kill him in his sleep if he puts her down, but even that's not fair. Just because I'm not an assassin doesn't mean I should be picked on.

Anyway, like putting up with Dinozzo's crap isn't enough, every time Gibbs gives me something to do, I never seem to do it the way he wants. It's either not done quick enough, not everything he wants, or not even necessary by the time I'm finished. I know he wants perfection, but I can't be perfect all the time! The only thing I want to do is please Gibbs and make him a little less pissed off, and I can't even do that.

I hate to admit this, but I was probably happier down in the basement with all the tech guys. It's true that I missed Gibbs, Ziva, Tony, Ducky, and Abby, but I didn't miss the fact that I was considered the Probie. In the basement the guys looked up to me and called me "Boss". Honestly, that was the best feeling in the world. It was nice to know that people were looking up to me and depending on me. It was nice to know that I wasn't letting anyone on my team down.

Then I came back to Team Gibbs. Sure, I was happy to be back out in the field with people I could trust, but it also meant I was back to being not good enough. It's amazing how fast I went from feeling the most confident I've ever felt to feeling inferior again.

I guess I'm just not meant to be a field agent. Maybe all of Tony's comments and Gibbs' disapproving looks should be a sign to me that I need to stick with what I'm good at.

But then again, I'm not a quitter. I may be naïve and I may be picked on, but I'm not a quitter. Quitting now would just give them another reason to regret ever taking me onto their team. I'll ride it out, comments and all.

One of these days, I'll stand up to Tony. I'll tell him to stop picking on me. I know that sounds like something a third grader would say, but he _is_ acting like he's in elementary school. One of these days, I'll give Gibbs a damn good reason to tell me "good job." I don't know when that will be, and I know it will be soon. One of these days, I'll make Abby see that I'm not just "her Timmy."

I can tell it will take a lot of work, but it will be worth it. I want to feel like I did when I was in the basement. I want to be able to be proud of what I do for the team and what I contribute. And I'll be damned if something or someone tries to stop me.

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**FYI: I'll be getting to suggestions soon. I just needed to get this idea out of my head.  
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	9. I Know How to Save a Life

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Here's another chapter for you! Sorry I didn't get this out sooner, but I've had a lot going on. Anyway, read and enjoy!!!_

**This chapter is for natasha ciara isabella sabio, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it! =D**

_****Set after episode Leap of Faith (5.05)****_**  
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23 October 2007_

To say our last case was one hell of a case for me would be an understatement. Sure, it wasn't our biggest, most complicated, or most dangerous case, but for me, I had to face my biggest fear – twice. And no, it wasn't my fear of the team discovering I'm writing another book about them. It was my fear of heights.

First, I make the stupid mistake of suggesting someone take a picture of the guy that was standing on the ledge of about a fifteen story building. Of course, Gibbs told me to do it because I suggested it. I didn't get the shot though – Gibbs did. I was too afraid to look down.

Then Tony teased me about it incessantly. Of course, he wouldn't let me live it down even if it was my last day on Earth. All I heard all day was how scared I am of heights, like I didn't know that already.

I don't see the big deal in my fear of heights. A lot of people are afraid of heights, so it's not like I'm the only one. Oh well, it's just another way he knows that I'm not as tough an agent as he is. What else is new anyway?

Finally, we were about to catch the criminal and Tony managed to dangle himself off the edge of a seven story parking garage. Gibbs got the criminal, and it was up to me to pull Tony off the side. To be quite honest, I was never more scared in my life. I didn't think I would be able to help him, or else my hand would slip and we'd both go tumbling to our deaths. Knowing my luck, that would have happened.

Considering I'm not that strong, it was a miracle that I pulled him off the side. I guess it was all the adrenaline that was rushing through my veins, or maybe it was just God being nice to me. Either way, I pulled him off the side of the wall, and I was never more thankful in my life.

I could tell that Tony was genuinely happy I saved him. Heck, he even told me he loved me (which was a little much if you ask me). Then again, he should be happy, seeing as though I saved him from his death.

Looking back, that was a lot more dangerous than I thought at the time. It was one of those times where I knew the danger, but I didn't think about it until after it was all done. I mean, think about it – we both could have fallen, or I could have dropped him, but I think I mentioned that before.

You'd think I'd be used to dangerous situations by now, but this one was different from all the other ones I've been in with NCIS. I mean, when I'm in the field pointing my gun at people I don't know, it's scary, but it's different. If I saw a suspect dangling from the side of a parking garage, I would be a little frightened, but it's different when you see your partner hanging off the edge.

In the time it took me to get to Tony, a million thoughts ran through my mind. All I could think of was that if he fell, I would never be able to talk to him again, and as much as he annoys me, I would have missed him. I also could see the look on Gibbs' face if I dropped him. He would have been so disappointed in me; I know that I would have just handed in my badge on the spot. By the time I got to him, I knew that I had no other choice but to save him (of course there wasn't much of a choice there, was there?). I couldn't let him fall, because he's my partner, and I have his six.

You know, thinking back, I would do it all over again. I would do it again and again and again. Why? Because I care for my team too much. Because I saw the proud look on Gibbs' face when I saved Tony. Because they would do it for me.

This made me realize there isn't much I _wouldn't _do for Tony, Ducky, Gibbs, Ziva, Gibbs, or Abby. If the situation was dire enough, I would jump off a bridge for one of them without even thinking (bridges are another weakness of mine). I would face every fear that I have to save one of them if I had to.

I know that I'm not the best or toughest agent out there, but when the situation arises, I can do anything that Tony can do. I guess it's all the adrenaline, but I've said that before too.

Ever since I came to NCIS, I've been picked on, but you know, I've come to accept it and kind of welcome it. It's only because they care, I guess. Even if they pick on me every day, I know that Gibbs, Tony, and Ziva have my six in the field and in the office – and Ducky and Abby too. I know I can depend on them, and come to think of it, that's the most welcome feeling in the world to me.

I love my team, even if I have to save them every once in awhile – after all, they save me on a daily basis. I don't know what tomorrow's going to bring, but I know one thing for sure: whatever does happen, we'll all have each other's six.

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	10. Taking the Dare

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Sorry it took me a little while to get another update out. Real life got in the way -- The weather's getting nicer, so I've been spending more and more time outside. Anyway, this one was surprisingly easy to write...usually it takes me a little while to channel my inner 'McGee', but this one flew right out of my head. Read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for Sea Troll Takeover, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it!**

**_**Set after, Double Identity (ep. 7.17)**_  
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9 March 2010_

Well, another case, another criminal behind bars, and another stack of paperwork that I accomplished before Gibbs kept me at the office all weekend. In regards to the paperwork, Tony wasn't so lucky. Apparently he thought it was more important to annoy Ziva and me than to appease the Boss. Oh well, at least I know that he won't be annoying me this weekend by randomly breaking into my apartment and forcing me to go to some night club with him.

Ranting aside, this case was strange. The man that was attacked and in the hospital had two wives – at the same time. And I thought Gibbs was bad with women (ahem, don't let him know I said that or else my head will be permanently indented by his hand mark). Anyway, other than learning a lot more about that man than I probably wanted to know, it wasn't too difficult of a case. There were a lot of twists and turns, but we managed – well, Gibbs managed and we all followed him to a point (some of it we figured out on our own, too you know).

The most exciting part of the case for me was the end when we caught the guy that did it. Of course, I ended up having to do something illegal, which I didn't like, but we got the guy nonetheless.

I guess I should explain what I did. You see, I made the stupid mistake of making an application for my phone that can open cars by using the identification codes on the cars. It's a complicated process that I'm tired of explaining, and that's really all you need to know. Anyway, I shouldn't say that that was the stupid mistake – the stupid mistake was telling Tony that I made that application when we were standing in front of a car we needed to get open.

You know, I already have a criminal record, and I really didn't want to add to it. Of course, I _shouldn't_ have a criminal record because the charges were supposed to be expunged, but for some reason they weren't. I'll really need to look into that soon. To top it all off, some old Chinese couple was watching us, which made me even more paranoid.

Tony managed to use my application to get the car open, and then he made me hack into the database in the laptop that was on the seat. Two felonies in the span of five minutes! Tony knew that I didn't want to do it, even if it helped close the case.

It really didn't matter though. The guy ended up coming around the corner, and then running away from us. Needless to say, Gibbs managed to pop in at just the right time to hit the guy with his car and nonchalantly save the day – as usual.

You know, when I broke into that impoundment yard, it felt kind of good. I mean, it was terrifying, but it was a good terrifying. It was dangerous and sneaky – something I don't get to be all the time. I mean, sure I ended up getting a record out of it (which I really don't want), but I'm beginning to think it was worth it. Sure, there was a lot of guilt after it – and fear – but that's kind of all going away now.

Breaking into that car and laptop with Tony wasn't as difficult and guilt-laden as I thought it would be, either. I thought that it would haunt me forever, but really, it was kind of easy. Sure, I didn't really _want_ to do it, but I did it nonetheless. And no one really said anything about it either.

I hate to say this, but I feel that every time I do something illegal with Tony like that, I kind of gain a little more respect from him. It's like he's testing me to see how far I'll go before I back out – and I stay with him every time. Maybe he's coming to see that I can be a real field agent and not just a 'McGeek'.

I wonder why it bothered me so much to break into that car and laptop today. I mean, I've hacked into the CIA's internal database for Gibbs in the middle of the night. Why didn't I think any of it then?

Maybe it's because that was inside the comfort of the squad room, and if I got caught, Gibbs would be there to take the fall. Now, I'm not saying I would want him to take the fall for it, but he would anyway – or at least he would share the blame. And no one really saw me doing it either. Surely the CIA didn't realize that I broke into their computers and got information, and if they did, they don't know it was me.

Ever since Somalia, I've been finding that I've been getting more daring. Maybe it was just what I needed to start really proving myself to Gibbs that I can be a good field agent like Ziva and Tony. I always get this feeling that Gibbs thinks of me just like everyone else does – the team nerd. I think now it's changing and he's giving me a little more respect too, not that he didn't respect me before.

Maybe he knew that I would get more daring after awhile. It took me awhile, but I'm starting to, and I can feel that this is only just the beginning. As corny as this sounds – and as weird as it is for me to write it – I'm kind of getting to like being a badass. Let's just see how long that lasts before Tony finds a way to pop that bubble.

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	11. Redemption

_**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Sorry this wasn't out earlier...I've been busy with a lot of stories, and then when i went to type this I pulled a wrist muscle, so I was forced to write it by hand until my wrist stopped complaining. Anyway, read and enjoy!!_

**This chapter is for natasha ciara isabella sabio, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it!**

****Set in episode, _Deception_ (ep. 3.13)****

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17 January 2006_

Another day, another case to work on. We're still kind of in the middle of it; although I have a feeling we'll solve it soon. You know how Gibbs is – a case doesn't last very long with him heading things up. Anyway, I finally got some downtime at home, and there's something I really need to get out of my head and onto some paper (however virtual that paper may be).

Today I handled an interrogation by myself (yes, yes, and the audience gasps in amazement!). I mean, it was an eighteen year old kid (or however old he was), but it was a suspect nonetheless. He was a bully – one of those fearless types – but I wasn't going to let him get away with that.

I really gave it to him, if I would say so myself. I mean, I'm not Gibbs, but I did what I could. I even flicked him on the head. I would consider that bonus points for the use of physical violence, however subtle it was.

I don't know what drove me to be so mean to him – well, I know, but I didn't know at the time. The only thing I knew when I first started the interrogation was that it wasn't about the case. It was personal.

When I flicked him – well, before I flicked him – I realized that it wasn't even about _him_ at all. It was about me. I wasn't even seeing him anymore. I was seeing every kid that picked on me and teased me in high school.

When I was in high school I was the nerd. Yes, I'll admit it, I was. It's not like I can deny the facts, anyway. I was the human punching bag for every bully in school. They'd pick on me and take my stuff, and I couldn't do anything to stop them – which was why they kept doing it. I was never strong enough or in the right position to fight back. But now, now I was. Sure, I didn't personally have anything against the kid, but I had _everything_ against his type. People like him made my life hell in high school, and finally I got to make one of their lives hell, if only for a few minutes.

If Gibbs saw what I did, he might not have approved of it. After all, we're not supposed to mix our professional and personal lives because it clouds our judgment. On the other hand, though, he might have approved. Gibbs is like that with certain things. He simply understands.

That aside, I did it for every victim of bullying. I did it for the people that can't stand up for themselves. Why? Because as I mentioned before, I've been there. And once you've been in that situation, you realized there are a lot of people out there just like you.

It felt good. There's no denying that fact. After years of having that feeling of revenge toward no one in particular inside me, it felt like the most gratifying feeling in the world to get rid of it. It was like a huge weight was just lifted off my shoulders – and man, am I glad it's gone. To know I got back at at least one bully is good enough for me.

One thing I know for certain, though – I don't consider Tony a bully. Sure, he picks on me and teases me every day, but I know he does it because he cares. Tony never pushes things too far. He backs off when he sees I've had enough of him. I may have to tell him to stop, but he stops. And he always has my six, too. Bullies don't. But Tony does. And I'm grateful for that.

Well, there's still more of the case to figure out, and I finally got this out of my system. I'm sure we'll figure it out soon, though. Gibbs wants this over with, and when he wants something, he gets it – no matter what the cost. We might not have gotten the murderer yet, but I got something I've been looking for all along, but didn't realize it until now. Redemption.

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	12. We Are Family

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Well, here's another chapter for you. I guess it was the holiday that sparked me to write about family. Anyway, here it is. Read and enjoy! Also, Happy Easter to those who celebrate it!_

****Set after _Child's Play_ (ep. 7.09)****_  
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26 November 2009_

I just got back from dinner at Ducky's house – Thanksgiving dinner to be exact. I wasn't originally going to go to his house, but a conveniently timed case caused all of us (except Abby) to miss our previously arranged holiday plans. If I didn't know her better, I would say that Abby played a part in getting us that case so we could go to Ducky's, but I do know her, and she would never do something like that.

I was originally supposed to spend time with my sister, but honestly, I don't think that she cared that I couldn't come visit her. She probably went off to do something exciting with her friends, and that's fine by me. She deserves to have a little happiness and fun during her college years.

None of us (except once again, Abby) really wanted to go to Ducky's house, but once we got there, we all had a great time. The food was great and we all had some really good laughs. Even Gibbs smiled and joked a little more than usual.

You know, when I was eating dinner there, I couldn't help but wonder why I was so hesitant to go in the first place. It's not like I'm uncomfortable around them – in fact, I'm more of myself around them than anyone else. I guess it was just because of the fact that we work together, really. It's kind of engraved in our minds that personal and professional relationships shouldn't mix – but what does that matter? We've worked together for so long, it was probably inevitable that we became friends.

I don't know what it is about Thanksgiving that makes me think about family, but I have been lately. I guess it's the fact that Thanksgiving is a family holiday, or maybe it's just because I don't see my family as much as I used to, but it's really been on my mind. Whatever the case is, I couldn't help but notice how much the team really does resemble a family.

The way I see it, Ducky is the loveable grandfather. He's the one who's always telling stories and reminiscing about the good old days.

Gibbs is the protective father. He's the one who is always watching out for the kids and the one that everyone looks up to and tries to impress.

Ziva is the older sister who thinks that the brothers are insane. She's also the one that holds a special place in the father's heart, and she does with Gibbs (as far as I can tell).

Tony is the older brother who thinks he's the best thing ever. He always picks on the younger siblings and fights for the dad's attention.

Palmer is the awkward cousin that everyone loves, but will never admit to.

Abby is the youngest child – the favorite by far. She's the one who can get away with everything and can get what she wants. After all, she's Gibbs favorite.

And I guess I'm the younger brother – the one who is always picked on and is really just trying to grow up.

You know, that really does describe the team. As dysfunctional as we may be, we're still a family.

I can't help but feel that we were all meant to be together. Like it wasn't just a coincidence that we all met – we were destined to become a team.

Oddly, I'm alright with that. I never was one to give fate much thought – sure, I believe in it, but I don't think about it. But thinking about it now, fate couldn't have been kinder to me.

I know that Gibbs and the rest of the team will always have my six, and honestly that's a great feeling. At Norfolk, I was kind of like the Lone Ranger. I didn't have any group of people that I could call my team. But now I do, and I try not to take it for granted.

I think that I know a lot, but really if I didn't, I'd only need to know one thing. Team Gibbs is, without a doubt, one big, hysterical, dysfunctional, crazy family.

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**Alright, you read it...NOW REVIEW IT! Please?**

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	13. Seeing the Man Behind the Mask

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Well, here's another chapter for you! I think it's one of my longer one's seeing as it was an easy one to write for me. My feeling about Flesh and Blood is, that although it focused around Tony, the others had to see what was going on too. Anyway, yeah. Hope you're enjoying the nice weather if you have any (it's currently 90 in my area...a little too nice for me). Read and enjoy!_

****Set after, _Flesh and Blood_ (7.12)****_  
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12 January 2010_

Well, Washington can sleep well tonight, knowing its safe from harm – we just wrapped up our last case. Haha, a little comic humor there, at least I believe so. OK, I'm going to get to the point now and stop making jokes.

The case was easy in itself, but what was difficult was dealing with the arrival of one person in particular – Tony's father. Yep, the original Dinozzo himself – although he's not much of the person everyone thought he would be.

Don't get me wrong – he was a nice guy. I didn't mind him. He was easy to talk to and he _seemed_ genuinely interested when I was talking with him. But I got the feeling that he wasn't what he said he was. It was kind of like he was putting on a show for everyone. Honestly, I don't know why he came – he never even showed up when Tony got the plague. Why did he come now?

Tony. I pity him now more than I ever did (not that I pitied him much before – after all, I never really had anything to pity him on for a long period of time). It was like he wasn't even there during the case. He had this wistful look on his face most of the time, and when he didn't, he looked pissed off and upset. Except when people were talking to him – then he had on his usual Dinozzo smile.

I could tell that Tony was bothered by his father's presence, and honestly I don't blame him. If memory serves correctly, his father wasn't much of a father. I mean, didn't he cut Tony off when he was twelve or something? What kind of father is that?

Tony and his father are two completely different people. Sure, they're both womanizing players with an odd fascination for Ziva, but I guess that's all part of being a Dinozzo. Tony, however, is more genuine. Truthfully, he seems to be – no, is – the better man. His father seems shady, like he would sell your soul if he got the chance. Tony would never do that. I know he acts like an idiot sometimes, but he would never do something that would purposely really hurt someone.

What bothers me about all this, though, is the fact that Tony didn't come to me to talk about any of this. Every time I got near him, he would continue with his jokes and pretend that everything's OK – even when I know it's not.

Doesn't he trust me? I mean, I know I'm just the 'Probie' around here, but we've saved each other's lives more than once. I'd think that by now, he'd realize I have his six all the time. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm just being overly-sensitive – after all, we all have battles that we find the need (for whatever reason) to fight alone. Maybe this is Tony's battle.

We'll I guess we all have walls that we put up inside to protect ourselves. Tony's wall is to hide his fear, stress, and anger. For whatever reason, he feels the need to plaster a smile on his face, even when he's hurting. The only time he had it down really, was when Ziva was 'dead'. I guess that just proves the powers of true love then, yeah?

I should have seen it earlier. Well, I should have called him out on it and talked to him. I must admit, when I had my bad days, Tony would always be knocking at my door and dragging me out to a bar. The least I could do is do it for him. Maybe I'll go check on him a little later and see if he wants to go to one of his clubs. They might not be my choice of drinking spots, but I'll put up with it for him – I know he would for me.

Too bad Dinozzo doesn't show his serious side more often. I think that everyone – myself included – would gain a new respect for him, not that people don't respect him now. Even when he stepped up to Gibbs' role and started acting like him, I could tell that part of it was just for show. He really didn't want to be the serious guy, but he did it – for Gibbs.

Tony acts as if he doesn't have a father. I mean really, like I've said before, his father isn't much of one. But – and I don't mean to sound cheesy or anything – he forgets he has a father that sits at the desk across from him. Gibbs.

Whether Tony realizes it or not, Gibbs is a father to him. I saw it as soon as I started working with the team. Gibbs really does treat him like he probably would a son. I hope that either Tony realizes it himself or Gibbs tells him, because I have a feeling Tony would get some peace of mind from it.

Am I jealous of their relationship? No. Gibbs has a different relationship with everyone on the team, and father/son just happens to be the one he has with Tony. I'm not sure what mine is with Gibbs. Maybe it's father/son, I'm not sure. I used to this it was, but maybe it's something a little different. I'll have to remember to figure that out another time.

Well, I can't say that Daddy Dinozzo's visit helped our case in anyway. But I can say that it helped me personally. It helped me see Tony in a different light. It helped me see the man behind the mask.


	14. Green with Envy

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Sorry I didn't get this out sooner, but I've been busy. Anyway, no excuses. Here it is! Sorry if it's not my best! Read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for Magnis and SeaTrollTakeover, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it! =D**

_**Set after, Guilty Pleasure (ep. 7.19)**  
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5 April 2010_

I've never really considered myself a jealous person. Over all, I've never had anything that eats away at me, seeing as though I don't have anything to complain about. I mean, there's times when I feel a little bit jealous (like when Abby starts to date a new guy, but don't mention that), but everyone has those times. So when, during this last case, Tony started hanging out with McCadden more than me, for once, I was really jealous. And let me tell you something – jealousy is a bitch.

I don't even know why I was jealous that Tony was hanging out with McCadden more than me – it's not like I ever pay much attention to Tony. He annoys me most of the time, and the few times we enjoy being around each other, it always gets ruined by Ziva or someone else popping up. I never cared before, so why do I care now?

I guess it was one of those 'you never know what you got until it's gone' moments. As much as I ignore Tony, I know that he's going to be there again, pestering me and trying to be my friend. But with McCadden, he didn't give me as much as a sideways glance and I guess that kind of hurt. It was like Phil replaced me, and that hurts to know that I'm easily replaceable like that. I mean, I know I'm not, but it hurt to see that I could be – even in Tony's eyes.

And I think that it wasn't as much the fact that they were hanging out as the fact that McCadden seems better than me. He makes everything look so easy when he does it. And he funny, too. He knows how to talk to Tony and relate to him. Like, when I would listen to them talk, all they would talk about was movies. It was annoying, quite frankly, but Tony seemed to enjoy the unexpected company.

I guess they got along so well because they share common interests. I mean, McCadden and Tony are almost alike. They both love movies, chasing after women, and they even kind of look alike. But truthfully, I like Tony more. There's something about Phil that rubs me the wrong way. I get a feeling that he thinks too highly of himself or something like that.

You know, this whole jealousy thing wasn't helped by the fact that Tony and I fought right before the case. He always wants me to help him score women, but honestly I don't feel like it all the time. He might like it because he gets to be the center of attention, but it's torture for me. Tony says I'm the wingman; everyone else thinks I'm the pathetic loner at the bar that can't get a date.

So, with that, I'm guessing that Tony was partially hanging out with McCadden for spite. He tends to resort to childish behavior when he doesn't get his way.

The good part came at the end of the case when Tony told McCadden to leave. I'm not sure what Phil did to get Tony to turn on him like that, but whatever the case, Tony sent him packing. And then McCadden called Tony, and Tony shot him down. I would really like to know what Phil said – he probably insulted Ziva.

Tony made me feel good when he turned McCadden down. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but it was nice to know that Tony still likes me at least a little. I'd hate to work with a person that despises me.

The truth is, I don't mind Tony. Actually, I consider him a friend. I guess that's the real reason it hurt to see him with McCadden. I know I take him for granted and I don't always play nicely with him, but really, I'll have his six in a heartbeat. We might fight, but at the end of the day, we're still good friends.

Well, this has definitely taught me not to take Tony's friendship for granted. I'm not saying that we're not going to argue and I'm not going to ignore him, but I definitely won't do it with as much anger. Why? Because envy is not my thing. Besides, green really isn't my color.

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**Alright, let me know what you think! I won't know unless you review =D**

**Any suggestions? Lemme know.  
**


	15. Seminars and Self Driven Cars Oh My!

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS. OR ANY SELF-CONTROLLED CARS BY THE NAME OF OTTO.**_

_EAJP here. Well, here's another chapter for you! I know that there was a serious part to this episode, but I was in the mood for some humor...it takes a certain mood to write dark fics for me. I'll definitely be writing about the part where Abby gets attacked by the car soon...when I'm in the mood. Anyway, I'm lovin' all your reviews and suggestion..seriously, they're like jelly beans. Yes, jelly beans, and that's a good thing...trust me. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for Magnis, who suggested it.** **Hope you enjoy it! =D**

****_Set after Driven, (ep. 4.11)**_  
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12 December 2006_

So, I've never considered my life that interesting. I've always been the normal guy, the one that, twenty years later, will still look like he did in high school. Anyway, you get my point. I've accepted the fact that my life is boring – hell, I even welcome it – but today I realized that my life can definitely have its interesting points.

It started in the sexual harassment seminar – yes, we as agents have to go to that too. It wasn't as interesting as it was uncomfortable. Let me explain – all of us from Team Gibbs were there, Ducky, Palmer, Abby, and the Director included. Palmer was the only one actually paying attention, and Ducky was off in a dreamland, probably fighting the urge to tell a story – or to fall asleep.

So, I guess I should get to the uncomfortable part now. Tony and Ziva were there, obviously, and God – a sexual harassment seminar with those two? It's like a freak show. Ziva even licked Tony's ear at one point! I wish those two would just get together and get it over with – all the tension between them is practically killing _me_.

Then, there was Director Sheppard and Gibbs. They were both by the window, the Director was sitting and Gibbs was leaning (and brooding that he even had to be there to begin with). Every time the woman giving the class would say something, they would glance at each other, and then they would turn their heads away defiantly, like they were angry at each other. Either that, or they wanted to resist the urge to jump each other. Alright, that's a thought that is more than particularly unwelcome.

Finally, there was Abby and I. She wasn't doing anything, just sitting there doodling, but still, the point is that it brought back a lot of memories for me with all the sexual tension in the room – memories that I really didn't want to think about in a public place. Yes, I know that we're just friends and I'm fine with that, but I'm a man, and I can't forget the past, can I? Enough dwelling on that – this isn't the time or place.

Palmer made me laugh, though, when he asked if it was alright to touch 'dead, naked people'. I didn't look at Ducky, but I bet he was cringing in his seat. Palmer is so embarrassing it's hilarious sometimes. I have to take pity on him other times – I know what it feels like to be the awkward one – actually, I _still_ know the feeling, but not as much.

I was never more grateful to get a case in my life. The teacher wasn't happy, but Director Sheppard promised to 'take good notes'. She looked at Gibbs sort of when she said that – I really don't want to know the double meaning those words took on to the two of them.

So, we show up to the crime scene, and I'm thinking that it's going to be just another case. I was, yet again, wrong. It was a case involving a murder centering around a car that can function on its own. To make it worse, it got loose on the streets of Washington! Talk about disturbing, creepy, and somewhat hilarious, all at the same time.

We closed the case after a little bit of work – and a whole lot of sexual innuendo and 'red light behavior' comments due to the seminar that we had before the case - but we closed it nonetheless. Of course, Gibbs was the one to piece everything together in the end.

You know, I seriously wonder about that man and technology sometimes. I mean, the guy doesn't know what a flash drive it, yet he can figure out who rigged a car that can operate by itself, and how it happened. Oh well, I guess that's all part of the mystery that is Gibbs.

After this case, I hope that our next couple aren't as exciting. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy difficult cases, but all this was enough excitement for me. Besides, I have too much paperwork to catch up on – and I have to write some kind of memo for that sexual harassment seminar because I missed the majority of it. I bet Gibbs doesn't have to.

Well, I guess I better be off and get some sleep now. It's been a long couple days, and honestly I'd like to sleep them off. Let's just hope my dreams aren't filled with self-controlled cars and sexual harassment seminars – honestly, I can only handle those two once in a week.

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**Alright, let me know what you think! Do I get a 'Good work' on this one?**

**Any suggestions? Lemme know, and I'll be tappin' away at it before you know it!  
**


	16. Confidence Booster

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER, OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Well, here's another chapter for you! Sorry it took me a bit, but real life interrupted... Studying mainly. Anyway, I have a big test coming up tomorrow, so I'd appreciate if you_ _sent some positive vibes my way =D I need all the good thoughts I can get. LOL. Anyway, read and enjoy!!!_

**This chapter is for SeaTrollTake****over, who suggested this. Keep up your suggestions...haha. Hope you enjoy it =D**

****Set after _Caged_ (ep. 6.12)**  
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6 January 2009_

I'd say it's been a long day, but I'd be lying – that's an understatement. We didn't even technically have a case (Gibbs knew who killed the man, but we needed a written confession) – that is, until I went to the women's prison to get a statement. When I went there, there was riot, which resulted in the death of a guard, which _further_ resulted in my being held hostage by all the women prisoners.

Yes, women prisoners took me as a hostage, and what an experience that was. I never knew the women there were so mean! Well, I did (after all, they're in _jail_), but it didn't really hit me until they decided to cuff me to a pole. On a side note, I do believe I was a pretty good hostage. I listened to everything the women said, mainly because I wanted to live to see the next day, but I digress.

You know, I should have known that something like that would have happened. Gibbs trusted me to get a statement by myself, and I ended up needing Gibbs to come save my ass regardless. Granted, he couldn't do much, but he had to take time out of his life to show up at the prison.

Why doesn't Tony ever get in these types of situations? Or Ziva? Or Gibbs for that matter? Sure, there was that time Ziva and Tony got trapped in a box, but that was during a shootout – I get taken hostage getting a statement. My point is, why do I have to be the unlucky one? It's like I'll be eternally damned to be the clumsy Probie of the group.

I guess I shouldn't complain though, I've come a long way since I first started. Besides, it's an honor really just to work with Gibbs, Ziva, Tony, Abby, and Ducky. I know that I've been with them for awhile now, but every once in awhile I still think about that. Well, how can I not? It's the job of a lifetime, at least for me. I know that I never would have gotten to do half the stuff I did already if I was at Norfolk.

Well, there is an upside. Even though I did get caught in a difficult situation, I managed to keep it under control. After talking to the prisoners, I finally got them to agree to let me move around and communicate with Gibbs and the others outside.

And do you want to know the even better part? I got _two_ confessions. First, I got one of the women to confess to killing the guard (even though she didn't really do it, but was in for life anyway), and then I got the confession I needed for Gibbs in the first place. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Alright, here's the best part of everything – I made Gibbs proud. When I came out of the prison with the confessions, he gave me a smile and a nod, something I never got before. I could tell that Gibbs was happy that I handled myself and managed to keep everything in control.

You know, I can't help but think that I proved myself in some way. It really showed that I can be on my own and that I don't need someone following me around to get the job done.

I know that I've proved myself in the past, but this really gave me a confidence boost. Even Abby noticed the difference, and that meant a lot to me too. Even though we don't date, I still care for her and her opinion matters. Knowing that she likes my confident side gives me even more confidence – if that's even possible.

I even stood up to the repair man on the phone. He kept changing the price on me, and I wouldn't have any of that after all of what I went through. Needless, to say, I got what I needed at a cheaper price than what I was originally supposed to pay. But, I digress.

Well, I think I did well today. Correction – I _know_ I did well today. The smile on Gibbs' face meant and said a lot to me, mainly because of what he means to me. And knowing I impressed him – even if it was only a little – means the world to me. Let's just hope that I can keep doing stuff like this before my luck runs out.

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**Alright, let me know what you think! Do I get another 'good work' from Gibbs?**

**Any suggestions? Lemme know.  
**


	17. Second Best

**_DISCLAIMER: STILL DON'T OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Well, long time no update! Blame my lack of updates on the fact that CBS held out on the new episodes for two weeks. But, now that the episodes are back to being ALL-NEW for a few weeks (until the end of the season -sobs-), I'll be updating again! Anyway, read and enjoy!  
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**Set after episode, **_**Moonlighting **_**(ep. 7.20)****

_26 April 2010_

Ah, thank you! Another case closed, and I couldn't be any happier. Seriously, this last case has been tiring for some reason, and it's probably because of the fact that I had to keep running from Agent Grady for most of the case. You see, Agent Grady – well Susan – was the polygraph technician that gave all the NCIS agents their polygraphs. To say she got clingy with me is an understatement.

Can you believe that she actually called me back for another polygraph test to see if I had a girlfriend or not?! I mean, she's a really nice woman once you get to know her, but that was a real turnoff for me. I know that I'm not the most confident person in the world, but she seems like the type of woman that needs constant reassurance. I don't think I could handle that.

I might have started something with her, though, but she was a suspect in our last case (that's how I ended up seeing her again). That really wouldn't have gone over well with Gibbs and Vance. Speaking of Gibbs, she gave him a polygraph test (his first ever)! I wasn't in the room, but Abby was, and she said that Gibbs was ready to kill her. I don't blame him – she's way too perky and positive to be giving polygraph tests that reveal the true sides of people. But, I digress.

You know, I'm not one who usually can see these types of things, but I can't help but think that I was sending Susan mixed signals. Thinking back, one minute I was laughing and joking with her, and the next minute I was running away from her, even volunteering to go with Tony to escape her. Am I really the kind of person who does that? It makes me wonder if I've done that to all the women I've tried to date.

Tony told me that I should have given Susan a chance. Actually, he said, "You never know what kind of butt she's hiding under those long skirts," or something to that extent. But that's Tony for you – it was probably one of the softest things I've heard him say in awhile.

I thought Tony was insane at first for saying that (I mean, it's Tony), but then I realized I didn't have anything to lose. I mean, Palmer officially has a steadier girlfriend than I've had in a long time. How bad is that? I like Palmer and everything (sometimes I even pity him), but when the 'autopsy gremlin' starts to outdo me in the girlfriend department, then I know I need to step things up.

It's odd – after dating Abby, I never really have given much thought to having a girlfriend. Sure, I have some on and off, but half the time they turn out to be people they really aren't, or they just use me to get to my money. Or at least those are the reasons I tell everyone else.

I know the real reason – and I really don't want to admit it. But, for the sake of my own sanity, I have to say it – I still love Abby. Well, at least I still really care about her, because I never stopped. Abby, ever since the day I met her, has had this sort of spell over me, and I can't put my finger on it. I know, I'm an accomplished writer but I still don't know how to describe it. It's like she becomes all the logic in my world, if that makes any sense at all.

I've tried to date, really I have, but no one can compare to Abby. That's why I've been spending so much time playing video games. I'd rather kill virtual people for hours on end than go out and date women for the sake of dating them.

Tony said he would even date Susan, but I don't know. I'm not like Tony, and he's not like me. No offense to him, but he'd go for any girl if she was breathing. Me? I wouldn't. I'd rather spend my whole life waiting for 'Ms. Right' than spend it dating meaningless girls.

You know, I learned a lot more during this case than to never trust a judge who acts like she's got a thing for Fornell (very long story). I learned something about myself really. I learned that, as much as I have to do all the work that no one else wants to do, when it comes to women I won't settle for second best. And anyone who isn't Abby is considered second best.

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**Alright, let me know what you think! Does this Probie get a 'good work'?**

**Any suggestions (and that means you too SeaTrollTakeover, don't hold out on me here..lol)? Lemme know and I'll type them up.  
**


	18. When Two Worlds Collide

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Well, here's my take on Bounce for you. I mean, maybe I read into it a little too much, but I felt it was really an important episode in relation to the Haitus episodes. Oh, and as I'm fast approaching 100 reviews, I'll be writing a celebration chapter, but I haven't decided what it should be yet. I'm thinking something fun, yet serious at the same time. Any suggestions out there? Anyway, enough of my homework to you, read and enjoy!!!  
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**Set after episode, **_**Bounce**_** (ep. 6.16)****

_17 February 2009_

End of case – check. End of case paperwork – check. Paperwork _finished_ – check. Bad guy behind bars – maybe? The case stemmed off another one that we worked on while Gibbs was on his Mexican hiatus. Apparently the guy that Tony put behind bars didn't really commit the crime – and he was prepared to let Tony know that.

Renny (the man Tony convicted) posed as Tony and dumped a body down a garbage shoot. Strange, yes, but then again there wasn't anything normal about our case. He then helped us to solve the case (sort of) and probably ran off to some uncharted island, although Tony never really said where he went or if he ever saw him.

The most abnormal part of this case was the fact that Tony was the Boss. Gibbs has a rule – rule thirty-nine to be exact – that if it's your case, it's your lead. And, technically it was Tony's case because we worked on it before. So, like four months of dealing with Tony being boss wasn't enough, we had to deal with him as the boss again.

It's not that Tony's a bad boss. Truthfully, he's a good one. It's the fact that he was acting as _my_ boss was the fact that bothered me. Tony is not, and never will be, Gibbs. Gibbs is my boss, _El Jefe_, and he always will be. When Tony stepped up into his role, it just wasn't the same. And now, after having Gibbs back for awhile, Tony had to step back into that role, which meant all of us were forced to take a step back and relive some memories. And those memories weren't necessarily ones we'd like to remember.

Tony wasn't able to escape the memory train either. He was uptight most of this case, and I could tell that bossing Gibbs around wasn't as satisfying to him as it should have been. I mean, sure he put the wrong person behind bars and had to see someone die because of it, but that wasn't everything that was bothering him. What I think bothered Tony the most was Gibbs getting a glimpse of what happened when he was in Mexico.

It's a touchy subject – Gibbs' hiatus – for obvious reasons. When Gibbs left, it was like a stab in the back, especially to Tony. Ziva and I, we knew Gibbs, but we also understood to a certain point why Gibbs left. But Tony, he's like Gibbs' son more than anyone, and you don't just walk away from family.

But when Gibbs came back – that was like ripping a bandaid off a healing wound. Tony had almost come to terms with being boss, and then Gibbs stepped back in. Tony was happy, but I could tell he was hurt at the same time.

Anyway, to make a long story short, we all –especially Tony – put those few months behind us. We didn't discuss it with Gibbs, and Gibbs didn't ask us. It was like our own 'Don't ask, Don't tell' policy. But then, Renny showed up. Although it was just a case, it still made everyone remember that those few months did happen.

I'm kind of glad though, that this case came up again. It forced Tony and Gibbs to recognize that they still needed to work things out. I mean, those two are like stones – stuck in one place until you physically shove them together.

Gibbs, I know, really never let on that he thought much of when he left. I guess he has an image to uphold. But during this case, Gibbs got to see that Tony was our leader at a time and that we'd still listen to him (however grudgingly). I could tell that it really struck a chord in Gibbs in a way he wasn't really expecting.

It was tough on the whole team this case in reality. We were torn between listening to Tony and ignoring him. I mean, we listened to him when he was the boss, but now he's not – Gibbs is back. But, we followed Gibbs' lead and listened, figuring that Tony had enough to deal with without us giving him problems. It all worked out in the end, so I guess that's the good thing.

At the end of this case, though, I could tell that everything finally went back to normal. Sure, it's been awhile since all of those events of the hiatus, but I couldn't help but feel that something was off. Apparently it was the fact that Tony and Gibbs had some unresolved control problems that they weren't able to recognize until now. Whatever happened at the airport changed them, and it changed them for the best.

Well, it's better now that this case is out of the way. I think we all knew that Tony's time as Boss was going to crop back up in one of our cases some day, and I'm glad it happened now. Gibbs' time here and Dinozzo's time as Boss are like two separate worlds, and we tend to keep them _very _separate. All I know is that it's better it's done now because one thing I've learned during my time here is that everyone feels the effects when two worlds collide – and I wouldn't like to feel that way again for a _long _time.

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**Alright, lemme know what you think! Does this Probie get a 'good work' from _El Jefe?_**

**Any suggestions? Lemme know. I'd be HAPPY to write them._  
_**


	19. To Each His Own Obsession

**_DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Here's another update for you! A little thing called real life got in the way, so I couldn't get this out as fast as I would like, but here it is! Oh, and I'll also be working on suggestions after I do an entry after tomorrow's show. Anyway, hope you're all doing well, and read and enjoy!!  
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**Set after episode **_**Obsession**_** (ep. 7.21)****

_4 May 2010_

Another case is over, and finally it's the weekend. Our last case wasn't bad – in fact was a little less complicated than our past few (except toward the end) – but I must say it was tiring. Having to deal with Tony's obsession, the reappearance of Ms. Hart, and Abby's obvious happiness over getting to go to Mexico to hang out with the forensics people took a lot out of me.

Let me explain, seeing as though a lot happened. Our case involved the TV reported Dana Hutton who mysteriously went missing. For some reason, Tony became fascinated with her, and then he took it to the point of obsession. She was all he could think about the whole entire case. Either he was staring at pictures of her or rattling off facts that only people close to her would know (so don't even ask me how he knew them). The whole thing was weird.

No one could quite figure out why he was so obsessed with her, but I suspect it has something to do with his description of 'Ms. Right.' He wasn't talking about that to me, but at the crime scene I overheard him and Ziva talking about the perfect person to them. I don't remember what he said exactly, but it was something along the lines of, "Aside from the obvious physical requirements, she'd have to be intelligent, independent, professional and successful." And obviously, that description could fit Dana Sutton. I mean, everyone thinks she's the best newscaster on TV.

But how could he fall for a woman he didn't even know? I mean, I've heard of love at first sight, but this didn't seem like love to me – more like infatuation. I was going to say something to him during the case, but I got the feeling that he wouldn't appreciate me commenting on his love life, especially during a case.

Quite frankly, Tony scared me. I was constantly worried that he would go out and do something stupid and irrational to find this woman. The only real peace of mind I had was the fact that Gibbs didn't seem to care, and Gibbs knows when everything's going on. So, I just did my job and hoped that Ziva would get worried enough to say something to him.

Anyway, Dana ended up dying after Tony found her. She got poisoned with Ricin, and that can't be undone. I just hope that Tony didn't really love her, because if he did, that would be horrible – more than horrible actually. He already lost Jeanne because of the lies he had to tell, so he shouldn't have to go through that kind of loss again.

Moving onto another – but equally creepy – obsession! Ms. Allison Hart has come back and is going to be staying a while. Word around the office is that she was granted temporary employee status with NCIS to do something with some kind of council. I didn't bother myself with specifics too much – Abby will get me a full report soon enough.

You know, Allison seems to have a strange obsession with following Gibbs around. It's scary really, because every time she comes around she pisses him off – and everyone knows she does it on purpose. I mean, it's obvious really, if even I can see it.

I bet she likes him. That's the only explanation as to why she always comes around here. I mean, surely she could busy herself picking fights with higher-ranking people, right? So she must have a thing for Gibbs. Let's just hope that Gibbs doesn't like her too. I'd hate to see those two dating, although it would make a good book plot. Then again, I probably wouldn't be able to write about Ms. Hart because she'd find a way to sue me for writing about her without her knowledge or something (I can see now the reason Gibbs hates lawyers so much).

Well, with Ms. Hart's arrival came the opportunity for Abby to go to Mexico to teach a forensics seminar. Alejandro, the man heading up the conference (or at least I believe), was flirting with Abby every chance he got. I mean, really, hitting on a girl in her own lab?! I'm surprised Gibbs didn't kill him (or me for letting him flirt).

Abby told me about how much he loved her lab, and then she said he invited her to this Mexico thing. I didn't think she'd go, but she's excited about it. Imagine that, excited about going to Mexico with Alejandro!

I'm not going to let her go – or at least not alone. I was thinking earlier about why I didn't want her to go so much, and I realized that it was because Mexico just holds too many bad memories for me – for the team. The last time someone went to Mexico, it was Gibbs walking away from the team. It's like when Abby would leave, I'd get this feeling she'd never come back.

Of course, looking at this reason, I realize it's completely false. I'm going to be honest here, so don't judge me. It's simply because I still love her. And when I saw that man flirting with her and saw how happy she was to be included, it made me jealous that I couldn't be the one making her happy like that.

I guess I have an obsession too. I'm obsessed with making sure Abby's still somewhat mine. I know we don't have much of a relationship anymore, but what we do have I want to build up, but I'm not sure that Abby feels the same way.

Thinking of it that way, I kind of understand how Tony feels about Dana. I know what it's like to be infatuated with someone without having a relationship. I mean, Abby and I haven't dated in years, but I still love to see her happy, and I still think that she's the only one for me.

And oddly enough, I understand Allison Hart. I love to be around Abby like she obviously loves being around Gibbs. Sure, I don't piss Abby off, but I love to get some kind of reaction out of her.

I guess this proves we all have an obsession of some sorts. Some are stronger than others, but we all have things we love unconditionally. And I guess it just took me some time to find mine.

Well, I think I'm going to go drag Tony out to a bar or something – or at least spend some time with him. It's the least I could do, seeing as though he'd do it (and already has done it) for me. I just hope that I can help him move on with his life and help him see there's more to it than just an obsession.

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**Alright, let me know what you think. Do I get a 'good work'?**

**Any suggestions? Lemme have them.  
**


	20. Pandoras Box? Try Pandoras Mexico

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER, OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Long time no update! For that I apologize, but when I was going to update, I got a very bad cold (just when I thought cold season was over). So, it took me a little while to get this one out. Anyway, I've reached 100 reviews, so I'll be doing a celebration chapter! I don't know what I'm doing yet, so I'm still taking suggestions for it. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for polarpi, who is the 100th reviewer for the story! Congrats (insert applause, balloons, confetti, and Gibbs giving you an Abby-kiss here)****! Hope you enjoy this!**_  
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**Set after episode, **_**Borderland **_**(ep. 7.22)****

_4 May 2010_

Note to self: _Never_ eat _anything_ in Mexico _ever_ again. Every time I go there, I end up coming back to the States sick, and this time was definitely no exception. Last time, I got sick from the water (Abby told me it was because I was too cheap to buy bottled water and I guess she was right). This time, it was a combination of putting the water from the sinks on my toothbrush and eating unpasteurized yogurt. Seriously, even when basically the only thing I focused on was what food I was eating , I still ended up getting sick. It figures. Maybe Mexico just doesn't like me and poisoning me is its way of telling me to stay away. If it is, I heard the message loud and clear.

Come to think of it, not much good came from the Mexico trip in general. I, Abby, and a group of her students almost got taken as hostages when we were out observing an old crime scene – by Mexican drug cartel. Yes, drug cartel. Don't ask me how they knew we were there, but they saw us and were prepared to kill us.

I think I handled the situation well though. I showed the woman my badge and told her to take me instead of everyone else. After all, I would have been more valuable to her than anyone else just because I'm an agent. All she did was throw my badge back to me and tell me that I was brave. I wasn't sure whether to feel extremely proud or to feel like I was seven and at the doctor's office getting a shot.

I did feel brave though. And protective. As soon as I saw the drug cartel woman coming, all I could think about was Abby and how Gibbs would murder me with his bare hands if anything happened to her. To be truthful though, I would have killed (or severely maimed) myself first, because I never want anything to happen to Abby – especially in Mexico. Besides, I feel that I've failed her one too many times already, so I wasn't prepared to let that happen again. But, I digress.

Anyway, I also managed to piss Abby off. Honestly, I don't remember what the comment even was – I believe it was about her weight – but it pissed her off all the same. It was supposed to be a compliment, I remember that, but Abby took it the wrong way like Abby always does. So, she went to sleep in her classroom that she was using.

I can't believe I did that! I was looking forward to talking with Abby on this trip, but she shunned me the whole time basically. I don't know why because I don't think I did anything wrong. I felt like telling her that I hadn't really _wanted_ to come, so it didn't matter if she didn't like that I was there, but I didn't for two reasons. The first is that I would be lying if I said that – although I hadn't asked to come, I didn't _not_ want to either. The second reason is that it would have just pissed her off even more than she already was, and Lord knows we don't need a pissed off forensics scientist (who can kill you and leave no forensics evidence).

I know the reason she didn't want me along, though, and it all is rooted around Alejandro. Abby didn't want me to come because she knows that I'm protective of her. She also knows that I'm kind of jealous of the guy too. Besides, she likes him and probably didn't want me to scare him away.

Why does she like him, anyway? What's so special about him? Does she like him because he can speak Spanish? If that's the case, I can learn Spanish. I mean, I didn't notice anything outstanding about him, but then again I'm a guy. But whatever the case, I don't think there's anything he can do that I _can't_ do (if you give me enough time).

Am I a bad person for wanting other guys to stay away from her? Probably. I mean, it's not like I make a move to ask her out, but I really can't. Gibbs' rule twelve is really putting a damper on my dating life, at least with Abby. But enough talk about that – why dwell on something I really have no control over?

I think that the worst thing that came out of Mexico is something I really don't even know about. Abby wasn't really herself after our trip to the old crime scene where the woman gave her a bullet, and she really hasn't returned to normal. That cold case really shook her up, but she's not saying anything about it.

It shook her up enough to have her ask to exhume the body of the drug dealer who was murdered and have him sent back to Ducky for another autopsy. Abby would never do something like that (probably because she wouldn't want to disturb his soul or something – I know that she would say something along those lines) unless she really needed to, so I guess she did.

I was going to ask her about it on the plane ride home, but she wasn't really in a talkative mood. She just stared out the window and occasionally played games on my phone. Abby not talking is a serious thing. Sure, she was mad at me, but she would have gotten over it when we were headed for home. I know her, and she doesn't hold a grudge against friends too long (just long enough to make you squirm and beg for forgiveness. And I'm being serious).

I really want to know what she found in the forensics evidence. It's killing me not to know what's happening right in front of my face. And I can't help but be a little upset over the fact that it all started after she went down to sleep in the classroom. I hate seeing her upset, and it could have been avoided too if I hadn't have made that comment about her. I'm sure she would have discovered it sooner or later though – after all, she is the best around.

I hope whatever she found isn't something bad for the team. I don't know why I think it involves us, but let's just call it a gut feeling. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right when I saw the way she and Gibbs were acting around each other. It's almost like they know some sort of secret, but they also know that it's going to come out of the bag – and they don't want it to at all.

God I wish that Mexico trip never happened. Everyone has ulterior motives now and these days, and I have a feeling that the whole forensics seminar was one big ulterior motive, and I don't think (judging by the way Abby and Gibbs are acting) that it really turned out the way anyone wanted. I have the sinking feeling that Abby and I just unknowingly opened Pandora's Box – or Pandora's Mexico, in this case.

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**Alright, what did you think? Do I get a 'good work'?**

**Any suggestions? I'll be doing the last two episodes of the season (-cries- Whyyyy must the season come to an endddd?) and then I'll be doing suggestions, so lemme know.  
**


	21. Victory Thy Name Is

**_DI__SCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. First of all, HERE'S THE CELEBRATION CHAPTER! I took a little risk, so let me know if it paid off. Secondly, I'm sorry I didn't get to update sooner...I've been sick since Wednesday, and really I haven't felt like doing all that much. Let's hope I get better and back to my normal writing soon! Anyway, read and enjoy!_

****FYI: Let me know if you like this chapter. Like I said, I took a risk. If you want me to do a different celebration chapter, I will. Thanks.****

**This chapter is for all my reviewers, who got me to 100 reviews and made my day countless times. Thanks so much!  
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**Set some time in season 4, just for the heck of it****

_May 8, 2007_

Success! I have finally managed to do the seemingly impossible task that was oh-so temptingly set down in front of me. And after many tries, failed attempts, and close calls, I did it. I conquered my fears and insecurities and overcame the harshest obstacles to victoriously reach my goal.

Victory thy name is Abby! Yes, Abby. I, Abigail Sciuto, have hacked into Timmy's journal.

I betcha never saw that one coming.

Ok, so maybe I was exaggerating in the beginning, but let's face it – I get carried away a little easily. Besides, this wasn't a small feat to accomplish either. First of all, I actually had to get to his computer, which I never had access to until now. My apartment's being fumigated and I needed a place to stay, so Timmy volunteered (he's always so sweet!). Next, every time I tried to start to find where he hid his journal, he would walk back into the room since there really isn't anywhere else to go in his apartment. Then, I needed to give myself enough time to actually hack into it, which I didn't get until now – and by the way, I didn't know that McGee would make it so difficult to get into this – but alas, here I am.

Tim had this thing embedded in a file hidden within another file embedded in a sectioned-off part of his hard-drive. Seriously, this thing was harder to find than my cousins in a crowd during Mardi Gras. I figured he would put it on a flash drive or something and leave it at that, but I guess he knew better. I must have taught him very well. Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised though – after all, this is Timmy we're talking about here. When he was setting this up he was probably paranoid that Tony would somehow get his hands on it or something.

I guess he didn't think of me – which saddens me because I would think that he would think of me during times like this – but then again I could find almost anything in any computer so it wouldn't have made a difference where he put it because I would still be able to find it.

I digress. Again. I'm not going to read his entries, though. As much as I would love to know what's going through his mind on certain occasions, I wouldn't trespass like that. I only wanted to prove to myself that I could figure out Tim and his computer smartness. I guess I can check that off my list.

I remember when I used to keep a diary (of course, this isn't a diary – it's a journal…yes, there's a difference). I was in high school and I used to write in it every day. Of course, I wrote in it mainly because it had black bats and white skeletons on a red cover. My friend got it for me and I'm proud to say I remember using every page of it.

But enough of that. Since I'm writing in Tim's journal, I may as well leave him a little note along with all of these ramblings.  
_Timmy—_

_You thought (as mentioned before) that no one would find this, didn't you? Well, it looks like you're wrong bud. But, never fear, I'm not going to tell anyone or read anything you wrote – I just wanted to write something of my own. _

_Anyway, you're awesome – not Caf-Pow! awesome, but awesome all the same. Don't take that offensively or anything like that, because nothing is Caf-Pow! awesome except Caf-Pow!...and maybe Gibbs. But he might have a class of his own._

_I digress. I really just want you to know that I still care about you. I may act like I don't sometimes but I do. Don't get a big head or anything about it, but no one can replace you, Timmy. Even though Gibbs thinks you mess up, Ziva thinks you're a little on the weak side, and Tony picks on you all the time, you'll always be the one I trust to help me. You do know that right? Because if you didn't, now you do, but if you don't read this then you still won't but…oh geez, I need to stop talking myself in circles._

_I highly doubt you'll read this seeing as though I'm going to make it so that you'll never find it. But on the off chance that you do, don't repeat anything in this letter to anyone – not even to Tony, not even to me. I don't want to know that you've read it even though I'll probably be able to tell if you do. But beside that, if I find out you read this to anyone, one day you will walk into my lab and never walk back out, if you know what I mean. Do I make myself clear? Good._

_Love you Timmy!_

_- Abby_

Well, there's the little note I wanted to leave in here. Of course, I'm not going to reveal any of my deep-dark secrets in someone else's journal. Who would do that (besides Tony probably), anyway?

Oh, but I will say this. Tim should never feel that he doesn't belong with this team or that he isn't cut out to be a field agent. I have a sneaking suspicion that that's the topic of a few entries in here, and I would love to prove him wrong.

I know that Gibbs cares about him and wants him on the team simply because he hasn't gotten rid of him yet. Tim's still here, which means that Gibbs still likes him.

And Tony, he might pick on him, but it doesn't matter – he does that to everyone except me.

And well, if there ever comes a point that no one wants him on the team, I'll like him enough for everyone to keep him there.

Well, I believe it's my time to go. I heard the shower water stop running, so I guess Timmy is finishing up in there. For once I'm glad he takes night showers. Well, I need to get out of here so I have enough time to encrypt and embed this file so deep in this computer, it would probably take _me_ a little while to figure out where I put it and how to decode it. Abby out!

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**Alright, let me know what you think..and be honest. This is the only time I plan on doing something like this, but do I get a 'good work' all the same?**

**Any suggestions? I'll be getting to them soon!  
**


	22. Calm Before the Storm

**_DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Well, long time no update (sort of)! It's been really busy...you know, with real life and all. I don't know when I'll be updating next, see as though I have finals next week and need to study. So, if I don't update until next weekend, that's why. Also, thank you all for the 'get well soon' wishes...made my sickness go away five times faster! Read and enjoy!_

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**Set after episode, **_**Patriot Down **_**(ep. 7.23)****

_17 May 2010_

Ah, apartment sweet apartment. I didn't think I'd see the inside of it this case – it was a busy one. An agent was murdered – Agent Macy who I knew from the LA office – which is always a difficult thing to handle. She was a good agent and I never minded her. I mean, I only met her once, but first impressions are the most important ones, right?

Gibbs took it really hard, even though he didn't really show it. Apparently he knew her from a very long time ago back when Macy didn't even work for NCIS. I get the feeling he partly blames himself for her death, even though I can't imagine why.

She died trying to bring rapists to justice, apparently, which was an even harder thing to handle. I feel there's more to it than what happened, of course, but then again there seems to be more to everything around NCIS than meets the eye lately.

Speaking of that, Abby's acting even stranger. She's really upset all the time and keeps asking for Gibbs. I guess whatever happened in Mexico is getting even bigger – or at least more urgent. I've never seen her so un-Abby like this before. I mean, sure she gets upset every once and a while, but this has been going on for longer than normal.

I don't know why she won't tell me what's happening. Doesn't she know she can trust me? I mean, we dated for crying out loud! Besides, I know how to keep a secret – I'm not Tony.

I guess I should ask her if I really want to know, of course. I don't know why I don't want to. I guess I want her to come to me to talk, because Lord knows Abby only talks when she wants to. I once asked her what was wrong and she punched me on the arm – I'm not going to be doing that any time soon.

I guess I'm just being my typical wimpy self. I mean, I'm not being nosy, I just want to know what's bothering her. Maybe I'll ask her to come over for pizza and a movie tonight. If she needs a little cheering up, I'm sure a movie will do the trick.

Of course, I doubt she'll accept though. I forgot to mention one little thing – Gibbs is missing. We're all guessing he's in Mexico, but then again, guessing isn't definitive. Abby was the first one to come up with him being in Mexico, which just further leads me to believe whatever she brought back with that drug dealer pulled some very old skeletons out of the closet. Honestly I don't even want to know.

I know one or two of us are going to end up going down to Mexico to get Gibbs – every time one of the agents on the team leaves under tense circumstances, we all go to get them back. We did with Ziva, and we will with Gibbs.

On a lighter note (speaking of Ziva, too), Ziva's becoming an American citizen Friday! Finally. I can't wait to go see her there. Sure, Tony made fun of me for being excited, but I just feel she's come such a long way. Many Saturdays Ziva came over my apartment to study for her test, so her passing felt like me passing in a way.

Besides, to me at least, her becoming a citizen symbolizes all that Mossad stuff being put behind her. I hate to get this way, but I'm glad that Somalia is fading into the background. Honestly, we all care for her too much to have that happen again.

I'm sure somewhere inside Tony he's happy she's becoming a citizen, because it means she then really is a part of our team, legally and unofficially. I know he pretends he doesn't care, but he's just as happy to have her where he can see her (for lack of a better term) as the rest of us are.

Well, I'm going to call Abby to see if she wants to come over. Maybe it will take her mind off things. Hell, maybe I'll invite the whole team over. Call it a gut feeling, but I don't think we'll be spending that much time together outside work for a few days. Why? Because I feel that all this is just the calm before the storm – and with Gibbs involved, oh what a big storm it will be.

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**Alright, what do you think? Does this Probie get a 'good work'?**

**Any suggestions? I'll be getting to them after I write an entry for the season finale.**

**Like mentioned above, I don't know when I'll be updating, so sorry if I don't get one out during the week next week.  
**


	23. The End of Another Chapter

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS. (GOSH, SO MANY CHAPTERS, AND I STILL DON'T?)_**

_EAJP here. Well, the good news is I survived finals week! I'll have you know that I did super well on all of them too. So, I'm back to writing (and sleeping..seems as though my life turned into studying during finals). Anyway, read and enjoy!_

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**Set after episode, **_**Rule Fifty-One **_**(ep. 7.24)****

_25 May 2010_**  
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Thank God these last few days are over. I think I've only had about ten hours of sleep the last three days. I mean, I shouldn't have only had that much seeing as though we didn't technically have that much of a case, but things cropped up, I suppose you could say. Apparently I was right about the fact that Gibbs had some skeletons in his closet, and we had to help him sort everything out – erm, we decided that it was best to help him a little, even if he didn't ask for it.

Gibbs is a good place to start when it comes to explaining what happens. It turned out that Abby was right after all – Gibbs was in Mexico. I don't know what he was doing while he was down there, but he was there nonetheless. And while he was down there, there was a firefight on the beach in front of Mike Franks's house, ending in the death of Colonel Bell and some other people. Gibbs, thankfully was not one of them (neither was Franks, but I think Gibbs thought he was dead).

Then, because of all this, Vance had me head things up in MTAC – with Alejandro (sort of). I had to deal with him, seeing as though he was handling things down in Mexico for us. I still don't like him any more than when we first met, but he made things a little easier on me at least.

You know, I didn't have a good feeling about him, and truthfully I still don't. I don't think he's that good of a guy – and I don't think Gibbs does either. I don't know about Gibbs and what he thinks, but I think that Alejandro was way too close to Colonel Bell and Ms. Hart. Anyone who is connected to those two are never up to any good, or so it seems.

Anyway, Tony and Ziva were sent to Mexico to retrieve the bodies, and ended up returning with Gibbs. I suspected they would, but it was a surprise to see him back so soon nonetheless. I figured that whatever he had to deal with down there would take him longer than it did.

I could tell that Ziva and Dinozzo were happy they brought Gibbs back. I mean, we all were happy, because let's be honest here – not knowing where a team member is (especially in these circumstances) is nerve-wracking. But Dinozzo and Ziva, they were well, relieved. I don't think they knew what to expect when they went down to Mexico, and they sure as hell didn't want to bring Gibbs back in a body bag.

But, why dwell on the ifs of the situation. It's over, and it didn't happen. If I needed something to worry about, I'd worry about tomorrow.

Anyway, we ended up tracking down and killing Jason Paul Dean, a 'friend' of Colonel Bell's who ended up turning on him and killing him. He wasn't too hard to find, seeing as though he was using Bell's hangar, and we had been watching out for him.

After killing him (or well, being present when it happened), my part in this whole thing ended. We got Colonel Bell's killer, and that's all we needed to do. Gibbs and Vance weren't done with everything they needed to handle though.

I barely saw the two of them in the office after we got JP Dean. I have no clue where Gibbs was, and I'm assuming wherever Gibbs was, Vance was. But, once again, I'm not going to dwell on it. Even if I asked them where they were, they wouldn't answer me.

Well, that aside, the end to all this wasn't as bad as the rest of it. Ziva was sworn in as an American citizen finally, and I could tell she was just as happy as the rest of us. I bet it would feel good to leave the past behind you like Ziva did. Well, I don't know if she thinks of it that way, but I would.

You know, it's funny, I know I've always heard of America as being 'the land of opportunity' and things like that, but it never really hit home until I met Ziva. I guess I always took for granted what this country has to offer, but looking at what happened to Ziva, I'm slowly beginning to realize just how good I have it.

Well, sentiments aside, the day was kind of bittersweet. Two people that Ziva wanted most to be there weren't – Gibbs and Tony. She was looking for them before the ceremony, and I could tell that it bothered her that they weren't there.

I wonder where they were. Well, I wonder where Gibbs was. Dinozzo was sent on an assignment to Mexico (I overheard them talking in the hall before he left), but Gibbs wasn't sent anywhere. He was probably still tying up loose ends.

Well, I'm off to Ducky's house soon. He's having a party for Ziva's naturalization and I wouldn't want to miss it. Let's just hope that Gibbs and Dinozzo make it to this, because I'd hate to see her even more disappointed.

You know, on a final note, I'm glad all this is over. Dealing with cases is a lot of stress, and it's even more stressful when the cases involve people you care about. But, now that it's all over, hopefully everything will go back to normal for awhile; I could use the break. But the way I see it, all this is just the end of another chapter in the life of us as a team. Let's just hope the next chapter's a little better.

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**Alright, what do you think? Do I get an 'Atta girl'?**

**Any suggestions? Lemme know and I'll finally be getting to them.**

**I apologize if these entries have been a little shallow (for lack of a better term), but life's been hectic, and to me, they have. I'll be getting back to the deep-thinking McGee next chapter.  
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	24. A Weak Link of a Relationship

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Long time no update! For that, I apologize. The last couple days have been busy, and really I didn't even have internet to post anything. But anyway, I'm back, and I bear MCABBY! I'm sorry if it's a little confusing (the chapter I mean), but I was trying to capture all the emotions McGee probably had. If it's bad, you can headslap me. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for SeaTrollTakeover, who suggested it. Hope you like it! =D**_  
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****From episode **_**A Weak Link**_** (ep. 1.19)****

_18 May 2004_

Long day. Long case. Long time since I've been able to actually sit down and do some typing. Really, I'm not sure why this last case was so tough. I mean, all cases are tough in their own way, and maybe it's just because I'm still kind of new to this, but I have a feeling it had to do with what's been on my mind. Either that, or the fact that it just a side effect of working on Team Gibbs.

Alright, before I get into those gory details, the basic details for the case were interesting enough. A guy's D-link broke on his parachute as he was training for a mission. It looked accidental, but then we realized someone set it up that way. After what seemed like the usually twists and turns in the case, we finally got our killer.

But aside from it being about death-by-parachute this time instead of the classic old cock-and-pull that we usually have, it resurfaced (not that much, but just brought higher above the surface _at work_) the feelings Abby and I have for each other, or at least the ones I have for her. Every once in awhile we get a case like that, but there really isn't a pattern to it. Granted, I have been here for _that_ many cases (and I probably won't be for much more), but I can tell that this will be the norm from now on.

It's not that I mind thinking about the friendship Abby and I have, if you could even call it a friendship. Truthfully, I've never been more confused with a relationship in my life. I think we're dating casually, but I'm pretty sure we're not a couple. See my confusion?

But now, it's just really complicated and troubling to think about all the time. With me working for Gibbs (at least temporarily), who has rule twelve (and the fact that I don't want him to murder me in cold blood), and Abby not wanting to get on Gibbs' bad side (if that's even possible) by dating me, chances are we'll never get much farther than we already are, which is virtually friendship.

I know that. She knows that. So why do we dwell on it? Who knows. But one thing I do know, is that she really wasn't willing to like me, or at least admit it. I had told her one night during dinner that I really like her, and all she said was thanks.

What does a guy say when the woman he loves just tells him 'thanks' when he drops a statement like that? Granted, it wasn't the other 'l' word, but I can't help but remember that. I'll admit it, it was a big blow to my almost nonexistent ego.

But really, it wasn't all pins and needles for us. I mean, sure there were the awkward thoughts and moments, but there was also a really nice one. I was typing on the computer there and Abby was waiting for me to finish up. She asked me if I could type any faster. Of course I couldn't, seeing as though it felt that I was typing a hundred words a minute already, and I told her that in a teasing way. So what do you think she does? She offered to help and put her arms around me to type!

I mean, the gesture wasn't meant to be sexual or anything, and it didn't feel like it. It was friendly, definitely friendly, but what should I make of it?

Now, I'm not usually the type to analyze gestures like that, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I know I don't show it at work (at least I hope I don't), but I'm grasping at straws here. I really care about Abby, that much I know. But what I need to know is if Abby cares for me too, at least in the way I care about her.

I don't know why I'm dwelling on this, though. Like my dad always says, if it hasn't happened already, it's never going to. I guess that's what you learn in the Navy, and really it's a good thing to know.

So, applying this to the situation I'm in now, Abby and I will never get farther than we are. I think I said this already, but I'm just so confused I keep repeating myself. I digress.

You know, if Abby and I stay friends, I can deal with not dating her. I mean, a really strong friendship is better than many weak relationships, right? I hope. Because I enjoy talking, laughing, just being with her. And I'd hate to lose that over a weak link like a relationship.

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**Like it? Don't like? Lemme know. Sorry if it's not my best...my mind's all over the place.**

**Any suggestions? Lemme know and I'll start tapping away at it. **

**FYI: If I haven't done your suggestion yet, just repost it and I'll write it down (something I probably should have done from the beginning =P).  
**


	25. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Well, here's another update for you! I don't know how this little angsty thing made it's way into my mind, but I guess that's the kind of stuff I think about at 11:30 at night while I'm waiting for SNL to come on (which, by the way, NEVER DID). Anyway, read and enjoy!  
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**Set in between seasons 6 and 7****

_31 July 2009_

I'm seriously beginning to understand why Gibbs took that vaca-tirement (vacation/retirement, as we like to call it behind his back) that time a couple of years ago. Because sometimes this job just gets to you.

Now, I'm not talking just about cases – those I can handle. It's the personal things that weigh an agent down. Kate's death, I handled (not well, but I did); then there was Paula Cassidy's death – granted, I didn't know her very well, but I knew her nonetheless; then there was Director Sheppard – that one hurt, but I muddled through. And those are just the deaths. Throw in Gibbs' hiatus and Vance's team-splitting move, and well, you get my point. This job throws a lot of stress at us.

But you may be wondering where this is coming from. I'll tell you where – from the fact that Ziva is just gone. No letters, no calls, nothing. I'm worried about her. We're _all_ worried.

Losing an agent (as in death) – and a friend – is difficult. But it's also definite. When a person is dead, he/she is dead. There isn't an in between. But when someone's just gone, you don't know if they're alive, dead, healthy, or whatever. And I've quickly found that that uncertainty hurts way more than grief over a death does. It's like a combination of sadness, insecurity, suspense, and anger all in one – and it's horrible.

That uncertainty is affecting the team, too. Gibbs, Abby, Ducky, and I hide our feelings though. We try – well, at least I try – to hide our feelings at work and not think about it on the job. It's Tony, though, who's really letting the uncertainty get to him.

Tony walks around in some kind of robotic state. It's like he looks at things without really seeing them and says things without really understanding what he _is_ saying. It's scary really.

I mean, Ziva's been gone for two months now, and he's still not getting any better. We try to joke with him, but he doesn't really pay attention to us. But, truthfully, none of us are getting better. Sure, we don't blatantly show it like Dinozzo, but we still feel like she was snatched away just yesterday.

It's just still so odd seeing her desk empty and not having to correct her grammar. I still walk in in the mornings sometimes and half expect Ziva to be sitting at her desk, assaulting her computer for unknown reasons. And then when I walk down to Ducky's autopsy, I sometimes think that Ziva might be there, drinking tea and talking with him.

But Dinozzo probably has a much harder time, seeing as though they were closer than they admitted. If I think about that stuff just sometimes, Dinozzo probably thinks about it every thirty seconds.

He's kind of pathetic (in an easily sympathized way), truthfully. He stares at her desk in some kind of shocked disbelief, like if he blinks slow enough, Ziva might reappear. It hurts all of us (even Gibbs) to see him like that.

But then there are times when I just want to shake him because of it. I want to headslap him, or justdo _something_ to make him snap out of it. He mopes around in his depressed state, and that brings all of us down, too. I felt so bad for him, I've started taking him out to dinner and to get drinks. I never thought I'd see the day when it was me initiating that kind of stuff.

And what bothers me the most is that he spends all his time thinking about her, but he doesn't try to find her. I mean, we work for NCIS for crying out loud! We have all the resources to track down her movements, yet we're all sitting still. Sure, none of us really try either. I've attempted a few times, but it's not something I could do alone. And every time I try to talk to Tony about it, I stop because I really don't want to hurt him more. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to really know how Ziva is – but it's coming to the point where I'd rather see her hurt than to not see her at all.

But, if you set all that aside, the reason I understand why Gibbs left way back when is because I've just gotten sick of it all.

I'm sick of looking at Tony's depressed state.

I'm sick of seeing everyone's uncertain looks in their eyes every time something that vaguely reminds them of Ziva comes up.

I'm sick of not having the slightest clue how Ziva is doing and where exactly she is.

I'm tired of catching myself when I think that Ziva might be there, only to see that she's not.

I'm tired of trying to figure out who to blame for her disappearance.

And I'm tired of having to deal with all these emotions at one time, most of which I haven't really felt in years.

I guess it comes with the job, but I really don't care – I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

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**Alright folks! What do you think? Do I get a 'good work'?**

**Oh, here's a little challenge for you smart readers of mine. ****. Sound awesome?**

**Any suggestions? Lemme have 'em.  
**


	26. Just My Luck

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Well, here's another update for ya! How's everyone's summer going? It was so hot out today, I didn't even try to venture outside. Well, Happy 4th of July to all my American readers, and to all my Canadian readers, I hope you had a great __Fête du Canada (Canada Day...I know a little French ^.^)! Read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for loves - emo - guys - with - hair** **(Your McSexy comment made me laugh ^.^), who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it! =D**_  
_

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**Set after episode, **_**Cover Story**_** (ep. 4.20)****

_10 April 2007_

Sometimes, I wish I never wrote that book. Sure, _Deep Six_ got me a lot of money – and having money sure is nice – and it felt good to know that people actually liked what I wrote, but it seems that it's all the book is doing is causing me problems. The money's just not worth it after a certain point; I'd rather be happy and poor than rich and unhappy anyway.

I mean, when everyone on the team found out that I wrote the book, they were really pissed off for some reason. I know that they think I wrote about them, and well, I did. But I thought they'd be flattered. I mean, the way I saw it, it's not every day someone writes a book about you. But, I should have known that they wouldn't see it that way. It seems that every time I think they're going to react one way, they react in just the opposite manner.

So, instead of being happy for me and the book, Tony and Ziva teased me, and Gibbs just glared at me. But, I could handle it. I love writing, and I wasn't going to let them stop me. It's not like everyone who read the book knew that I based it off my team. So, I was fine with them being upset – it's not like they would care if I were upset at something they did.

But this last case – this was the last straw. A man showed up dead, and he looked familiar to me. I just thought that maybe I saw him around. And then another man showed up dead. This second guy was the valet at my favorite steakhouse. Yeah, you can say I have the worst luck in the world, because the guy who was murdering these men was taking the scenes and people right out of my book. It figures.

I couldn't believe I was stupid enough to throw out the copies of the typing wheels from my typewriter. That's how the murderer knew what was happening in my book (that I haven't published yet). The guy was actually going through my trash to get them, too. Being the federal agent I am, I should have never done that, but once again the most obvious things slip out of my grasp.

If you think that's bad, then wait until you hear what happened next. Finally, toward the end of the case, we realized that whoever was doing this was going to go after Abby next. She was staying at her friends' convent (the nuns she goes bowling with), but no one was with her. When we showed up, the barista from the coffee shop I go to, Landon, was pointing a gun at Abby. Apparently, he was trying to protect me from anyone that was trying to hurt my character. The way I talked him down was by telling him that Amy (Abby) and I (McGregor) would get married at the end of the book. Abby wasn't happy about that, but it got him to put the damn gun down.

Honestly, I can't believe this case. I can't believe it at all. I was just starting to really fit in with the team – it was almost like the whole 'new guy look' thing was finally wearing off. Even Dinozzo stopped teasing me a little. But, then all this with the book exploded right in front of me. I should have known nothing good would come out of this. God forbid _I _find something _I _like to do and actually get a good feeling from it – I guess that's just too much to ask.

You know, I would have never even written the book if I knew that then was going to happen. Regardless of what Gibbs says, I still hold myself partially responsible for those two guys' deaths. They didn't deserve to die just because I put them in a book. They had families and lives and I managed to somehow indirectly take that away from them.

That's funny in a sick and twisted sense too. Thinking about it, I wrote those books because I wanted to sort of see myself in a different world, a different life. And by doing that, I actually managed to have people lose theirs. Some luck, huh?

And do you want to know the worst part of it? Abby could have died too. If we all hadn't have figured out what was going to happen, she could be on Ducky's table _right now_. Just the thought of it is worse than the other two guys' deaths combined.

Abby means so much to me, and it seems that all I ever do is put her in danger or not come to her rescue. At one point in time I thought that I could be her 'knight in shining armor', the person to help her through her bad times and show her there's good in life – but that never happens. It always seems to end up being Gibbs, Tony, or Ducky because I manage to hurt her even more.

For a moment or two, after I was sure that Abby was alright, I was prepared to stop writing forever. I was seriously ready to not finish the book, or at least have someone else finish it for me. Because honestly, I was pretty sure it wasn't worth all the hassle. But the Abby starting saying how I couldn't end the book with Amy marrying McGregor, and then I decided that I _needed _to finish, if not for me or the readers, but for Abby.

On a side note, though, Abby's comment about Amy and McGregor not being right for each other stung a little. It hurt because I couldn't tell if she was just talking about the characters, or if she was talking about us, too. I mean, I know that we could never really date because we're coworkers, but to say we're not right for each other was just kind of upsetting. We _did_ date for awhile, after all, and I really thought we connected – maybe Abby was just playing along to make me happy or something. Then again, maybe I'm just being too sensitive or something – that's probably the case (at least that's what I'm going to tell myself).

Well, the only good thing about today – other than the fact that Abby's safe – is that it's over. I can at least try to put all of this crap behind me and start over. After this book, though, I don't think I'm going to write another one, or at least I'll be more careful about it. Maybe then I could avoid all the controversy, but knowing me, something else would pop up. Oh well, I guess that's just my luck.

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**Do I get a 'good work'? Lemme know what you thought.  
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**Any suggestions? Lemme hear 'em and I'll start tapping away at them ^,^.  
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	27. Strange Cases and Absentminded Flirting

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here! Hellllllo! Long time no update. Sorry for that, but inspiration was running dry for a little while. Anyway, this isn't a suggestion, but I'll be getting to them in the next chapter. I wanted to write a chapter to match with my other story, Musings of the Sound Technicians. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for natasha ciara isabella sabio, who got the song I used as the title in Chapter 25 correct! Yay! Since you suggested this episode for MOTST, I thought this would be an good chapter for you. =) Hope you enjoy it! =D**_  
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**Set after episode, **_**Forced Entry**_** (ep. 2.09)****

_7 December 2004_

Well, another day, another odd case solved – and another criminal behind bars. It feels good to actually have this weekend off. Anyway, I'll think about what I'm going to do with my free time later – the case is still on my mind.

This was actually a case that Dinozzo enjoyed a little bit. Yeah, as you probably guessed, it involved a sex website to a certain degree. You see, it looked like a seemingly normal case (none of them ever really turn out to be, at least not in the time I've been here), but then we discovered the woman involved in our case and the man she put in the hospital belonged to the same sex website – and they had the same fetishes. How cute. It's a small world, isn't it?

Anyway, that's why Dinozzo was happy. I can't say that I was happy with him in the beginning of the case though – or Kate, for that matter. When we arrived at the crime scene, Dinozzo gave me a cup of coffee, but didn't tell me it was Gibbs'. So I drank it, and then Gibbs got mad at me and made me get him a new one.

Now, I hate to sound like a childish grade-schooler, but why does Tony always mess with me like that? I get it – I'm the Probie – but my God! I can take a little of it, but this seems never-ending! Will he ever ease up? I wish that for once, someone would just pull something on him. At least then he'd get a taste of his own medicine. But to make matters even worse, Kate played along! Oh well, hopefully all the teasing will slow down in time.

But, I digress. They'll probably pick on me for awhile, so I should probably get used to it, right? Anyway, because of a lot of the case involved that website, we had to send someone undercover in its headquarters to get some information. I wanted to go, but Dinozzo quickly shut me down.

I don't see why I can't go undercover. I've always wanted to, but no one ever lets me. Well, we don't get many chances to go undercover, but I still wish I was considered. I never get to have any of the fun!

Once again, I digress. Gibbs settled the dispute between Kate, Dinozzo, and I by send Abby undercover. Yes, he sent _Abby _undercover. I couldn't believe he did that at first. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her going undercover, but Abby is like Gibbs' daughter – he'd take a bullet for her. So why would he send her where she could get hurt? Granted, that was unlikely, even from the beginning, but it still surprised me more than troubled me. She was the best pick anyway, since she knew computers.

Anyway, Abby went to the office undercover. The creep manager there started to hit on her, sort of. It was really weird how he did it, but he flirted with her nonetheless.

I get that she really wasn't playing herself (she went undercover as Miss Gibbs) and that none of it really mattered, but I couldn't help but feel kind of protective of her. I know that I shouldn't really let it bother me either because she's not even my girlfriend (even though I would like her to be). I guess I just can't shake my feelings for her – I never will, either.

Anyway, enough thinking about that. While Abby and I were working, Gibbs, Tony, and Kate went to go check out another suspect. When they came back, they said that they found him dead in his basement surrounded by jars of pee. Yeah, can you say disgusting? I'm glad I wasn't there. But here's the kicker – they were looking for eyeballs, which was even creepier.

I don't understand why we get all the strange cases. I know that I haven't been working with the team for long, but are the cases always this strange? I get that we're the major threat response team, but do major threats always have to include detached body parts and other disturbingly odd things?

Honestly, it's disgusting what people do now and these days – especially on the internet. Abby and I were talking about that earlier in the case. We decided not to talk about that at work though. Seriously though, some of these people have really sick minds. We were reading emails exchanged between Rowens and Davidson, and let's just saw that they were making _Tony_ blush.

Anyway, the case ended with the usual twists, and Gibbs somehow ended up knowing who exactly the criminal was. Sometimes I swear that Gibbs is some kind of immortal mastermind.

I'm glad the case is over, yet I'm not at the same time. Abby and I were really getting a lot of time together. I hate sounding like a lovesick puppy, but I can't help it. It seems like she flirts with me around every corner, and I was beginning to enjoy it too, but then the case ended.

Oh well, I'd better stop writing before I start to sound like a lovesick teenager again. Let's just hope that the next case we get isn't as strange as this one – and that Abby and I get to spend more time together. But, with my lick, we'll just get a stranger case and I'll get more absentminded flirting. But you know something? I might just be able to live with that.

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**Alright, do I get a 'good work'? Lemme know.**

**Have any suggestions for me? I love to hear them. Seriously reviews are my favorite thing...right after coffee, of course. =)  
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	28. White Teeth and Gibbs' Return

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here! Long time no update! I'm terribly sorry for that, but writer's block hit me very hard with this one...well, with all my stories really. But alas, I managed to get one out. So, without any further commentary, read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for loves emo guys with hair, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it! =D**_  
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**Set after episode, **_**Escaped**_** (ep. 4.02)****

_26 September 2006_

Ladies and gentlemen, here are three words that will make your heart jump for joy: Gibbs is back! Finally, after months of sitting on a beach in Mexico, it looks like he'll be back at his desk every morning at a ridiculously early hour.

It started with a case that involved an escaped convict who went after Fornell and his daughter. Apparently Gibbs and Fornell put this guy away for life, or so they thought. Anyway, Gibbs had to come out of retirement to help Fornell reopen the case.

Dinozzo, Ziva, and I were a little worried at first that Gibbs forgot he retired, seeing as though that once Gibbs makes a decision, that decision is final. Apparently this one wasn't, though. Anyway, we had to chase this guy all around as he proved (and rubbed into our faces) his innocence. It turned out he really _was_ innocent – his friend Mickey had the money all along. It was in the form of books, furniture, and a clock. I for once was the one to figure that out – good thing I watch _Antiques Roadshow_.

Anyway, the morning after the case ended, Dinozzo, Ziva, and I were walking out of the elevator and to our desks. When we turned the corner, Gibbs was sitting at his old desk, Lee was standing in a corner holding all of her things, and Dinozzo's stuff was piled up on his old desk. Of course, Gibbs being Gibbs, just gave us a blank look and said, "What?" in a rather annoyed tone.

I still couldn't help but smile though. Gibbs was back, and that was all that mattered. In the months he was away, everyone was different. Sure, we got along without him, but the whole dynamic of the team was different. I'm not saying that Dinozzo wasn't a good boss or anything, but he wasn't Gibbs, and I think even he knew that.

I know that Abby's absolutely ecstatic to have Gibbs back. She had pictures of him on basically every available surface of her lab and almost every day she'd make a comment about going down to Mexico to drag him back. It still shocks me that he left to begin with, mainly because of his close relationship with Abby. It tore her apart to see him go – I almost couldn't bear to see her the first few days after he left. But, she got a little better as time went on, even though she wasn't one hundred percent Abby. Now that Gibbs is back though, she's back to her old self – something we're _all _glad about.

One person Abby's not sad to see go, though, is Agent Lee. Apparently, Lee made remarks about the agency 'being better off with Gibbs' and that turned Abby against her for life – not that Abby liked her much to begin with.

Personally, I don't mind Agent Lee. She probably only said that about Gibbs because he's not by the books like she is. I mean, she's from the legal department, and let's face it; Gibbs doesn't always do things the way they should be done. I'm not defending her for what she said though. She should have known better than to say that to Abby of all people. Actually, she shouldn't have said it at all. Gibbs never did anything to her – other than glare at her, of course.

It was kind of nice having Lee around for awhile, though. For once, I wasn't the Probie. Tony still teased me mercilessly, but I think that has more to do with that fact that it's me than that I'm a Probie. Regardless of that, having Lee around meant someone else needed to see how we did things, which meant for once I could explain something instead of always having to ask what to do.

But alas, she's gone. I'm not complaining though – Gibbs is back, and that's really all that matters. I even have a feeling that Dinozzo is relieved. That's probably because he can go back to his old antics now without having to worry about being a boss.

Even though Gibbs coming back was the highlight of the case by far, I guess I should mention what happened to me even before the case started. It's embarrassing and Tony got a lot of jokes out of it, but it's still kind of amusing nonetheless.

I decided that I should bleach my teeth to make them whiter, right? Well, I got everything I needed to do it and put it on my teeth, but then I fell asleep with it in. When I woke up, my teeth were a _blinding_ white. I called the dentist and he told me that the only thing I could do was wait for the color to fade on its own. Great.

I'm normally not one to care too much about appearances, but when I first saw my teeth, I was mortified. I even debated calling off work, but I didn't figuring that Dinozzo would just give me grief for that on top of making fun of my teeth. I couldn't resist giving myself a headslap for falling asleep while whitening my teeth. It wasn't as good a headslap as Gibbs gives, but it did the trick. I made a vow to my mirror that I'll never whiten my teeth again.

But anyway, Lee and Ziva insisted they weren't that bad, but of course they were. Dinozzo felt the need to make comments about it, and even Gibbs told me to gargle with Abby's Caf-Pow so that they didn't 'all go snow blind.' If I wasn't so mortified about the grossly white state of my teeth, I would have probably even laughed, seeing as though that joke came from Gibbs.

I'm still surprised that Dinozzo didn't make more comments than he did. I was half expecting a 'McWhite teeth' comment or a reference to the Orbit gum commercial, but he didn't say anything along those lines, and for that, I'm glad. I really don't think I would have been able to handle that.

Oh well. My white teeth and I are going to go get ready for the night out Abby planned for all of us to celebrate Gibbs' return – I swear that girl finds an excuse to party whenever she can. But hey, who am I to argue? I'm just glad that everything's back to normal – except my teeth that is. But I'd rather have unnaturally white teeth with Gibbs here than plain white teeth and Gibbs gone any day.

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**Alright, folks, what did you think? I tried to keep this one a little on the lighter side of things...angsty McGee was getting a little tired of being used all the time.**

**Any suggestions? Lemme hear 'em and I'll get to typing!  
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	29. They Wouldn't, Would They?

**_DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN NCIS. NOR MCGEE. _**

_EAJP here! Long time no update. Thankfully, time didn't get too far away from me with this one and I got it out faster than I thought I would. Anywho, read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for loves emo guys with hair, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it! =D**_  
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**From episode, **_**Under Covers**_** (ep. 3.08)****

_8 November 2005_

I'm going to be honest here – I've never been happier to get my end-of-case paperwork. Ever. This last case was tiring (even more so than some of the others) for everyone on the team. Well, maybe not Ziva and Tony because they got to stay in a nice hotel, but that's beside the point.

You see, Ziva and Tony had to go undercover as an assassin couple at a hotel, but Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, Director Sheppard, and I had to monitor everything from headquarters. Yeah, that basically meant that I got no sleep at all.

On an upside, I did a little undercover work myself as hotel staff. It wasn't anything big, but it felt good to get out from behind the computer screen for a bit. I really enjoy the undercover work when I get it. It's fun to play someone else – except when Dinozzo ended up pointing a gun at me because he thought I was the one he was supposed to be arresting. But oh well, I'll take the bad with the good.

I might have had a good time with my small role, but Ziva and Dinozzo had a blast. Well, Dinozzo did at least; he acted like he was in the playboy mansion most of the time. He walked around in robes and drank expensive wines on company money. You guessed it, he felt like he was on top of the world. It was almost too disgusting to watch, but Ziva would occasionally make an idiot out of him and then it would be funny.

I think that even Ziva enjoyed herself. She didn't show it if she did, but that's probably just part of her personality. After all, I'm sure the idea of being an assassin and spending days in a hotel with Dinozzo appealed to her. She and Dinozzo have grown strangely close in the time she's been here.

All I know is that Gibbs and the Director had it worse than I did. They're the ones who had to sit in MTAC and watch Ziva and Tony on the big screen for the length of this case. If I had to do that, I'm pretty sure my eyes would shrivel up and fall out. It was bad enough that I had to watch bits and pieces of it when I had to go into MTAC to do some computer stuff. From what I saw, they were _clearly_ enjoying themselves – or they were at least enjoying flirting with each other.

Before I delve into everything about Tony and Ziva, I must mention that the FBI was involved from about halfway through the case on to the end. They were spying on Ziva and Dinozzo while there were undercover, and with Ziva's help, Gibbs and I found them in a building across the street. After much shouting about whom we were and dropping the weapons, we all agreed to work together on the case.

The FBI agents told me that they saw Dinozzo and Ziva having sex through their cameras they had set up and whatnot. I didn't believe them (for obvious reasons), and told them that they were just faking it. The female agent kept saying that she _knew_ Ziva and Tony weren't faking (she said that they could make a fortune if they put the video on the internet).

It's a disturbing thought, but did Dinozzo and Ziva really do it? I would love to think (for mainly the reason of my sanity) that they _didn't_, since they were in the middle of a case and could have been breaking Gibbs' rule twelve. I mean, besides, they were basically on camera the whole time they were there – Director Sheppard was probably watching them.

As much as I'd love to think that they didn't do anything, it wouldn't surprise me if it turns out that they did. It's so obvious that they like each other. I know I don't say anything, but every time I walk into a room where they're alone together or having a private conversation, I can practically _feel _the sexual tension between the two. It's almost disgusting, so I try not to think about it.

The funny part about that is that I honestly don't think they realize how obvious they are when they flirt. Even Gibbs notices it sometimes, and that's saying something. Usually he only notices what he absolutely has to.

I'm also shocked that Gibbs even let them sleep in the same bed together. I know that they fit the description of the assassins and were undercover, but I expected him to yell at them for playing grab-ass once the case was over. Oh well, I guess he excused the behavior since they were undercover and all.

Well, I'd best end my thoughts here; Abby will be calling me any minute to make sure that I'm on my way to the bar for out post-case ritual with the whole team. I don't know how I'm going to look at Tony and Ziva without thinking about it, though. I'm pretty sure they didn't do it, but there's always room for doubt. I mean, they wouldn't, would they?

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**Alright my dear readers, what did you all think?**

**QUESTION FOR YA: Out of idle curiosity, who uses Twitter? I was thinking of making a Twitter page for my FF account so that I can keep you all updated. Let me know what you think on that.**

**Any suggestions? I know you want to know what McGee thinks. Let me know what you want him to muse on next.  
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	30. Three Important Things

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Well hello there! I got this update out a little earlier than I planned, only because I start school on Monday and I really want the weekend to relax and get ready. Even though I'll be going back to school, I'll still be updating as usual - nothing's going to change. Read and enjoy!_

**This chapter is for AngelPuppy, who suggested it. Hope you enjoy it! =D**_  
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**Set after episode, **_**SWAK**_** (ep. 2.22)****

_10 May 2005 _

I know I say 'I'm glad the case is over' after basically every case, but this time I mean it, and I mean it more than I ever have before. Seriously, I hope we never get a case like that again. But even though I'm glad it's over, I learned three things from it:

Never open a letter sealed with a kiss.

If you need to type on a computer while wearing a hazmat suit, make sure you have pencils close by.

I consider Tony a friend, and I honestly can't picture NCIS without him.

Let me explain. We were going through our mail today in the squad area, and there was an envelope addressed to 'An NCIS Special Agent.' It was sealed with a kiss (a SWAK), so Dinozzo, being the arrogant ass that he can be, snatched up the letter claiming he 'recognized the lips.' When he opened it, white powder came out of it, so we all had to evacuate and hit the decontamination showers.

After that, we all had to go and stay in autopsy while Ducky ran blood tests. Gibbs was pissed off that he couldn't leave, claiming we were as good as we were going to get, but Ducky wasn't having any of that. Tony and Kate had to be taken to quarantine, though, because Dinozzo inhaled the powder and Kate was sick and more susceptible to being infected by the powder.

After a couple of hours, Gibbs was losing his patience (and his mind) in autopsy. He wanted to work on the case and find out what was going on with Kate and Dinozzo, but Ducky still wanted us in autopsy until the blood tests came back negative. So, in true Gibbs fashion, he found a way to stay in isolation but be out with everyone else – we donned contamination suits.

That's where the pencils (mentioned above) came in. I had to do all the work I normally did wearing huge gloves. The pencils allowed me to type, thankfully, because we needed to work fast.

Anyway, as we were all working, we learned that everyone's blood tests came back negative – except Dinozzo. He contracted the disease, which turned out to be a y-pestis, and contracted pneumonia. Kate thankfully didn't get sick, but she stayed with Tony as long as she could.

As soon as we learned that Dinozzo was sick and getting sicker, we all kicked into overdrive. Gibbs wouldn't let us sleep until we found out how to cure Dinozzo. We didn't find a cure for him, but we did find out that the disease had a suicide trigger, so he wasn't contagious, and all Dinozzo do was fight through the sickness.

At the same time Gibbs and I found out about the suicide trigger in the powder, we found the woman who sent the letter too. It turns out that she sent the letter so that NCIS would reopen her daughter's case from a year ago or something like that, because apparently her daughter was raped. Gibbs found out from the daughter, though, that she was just into kinky sex. Never mind that.

Thankfully, Dinozzo won't die – he's actually getting better every day. He's still not out of the woods, and I suspect that Gibbs won't let him out in the field for a while, but he's getting better. And that's what matters.

The scary thing is that it could have been me lying in that hospital bed. I was the one holding the envelope, but Dinozzo snatched it out of my hands. I shouldn't have let him, but at the same time, I'm glad I didn't open it, either. Honestly, I can't even think of what might have happened – and I don't _want_ to.

But when I saw Tony lying in that hospital bed, all I could think of was how many comments I wished I could have taken back. I know that Dinozzo isn't always nice to me, but I still work with him and consider him a friend. And I'm sure he's not mean to me to be malicious, he just does it for laughs.

I hate to say this, but I honestly can't picture NCIS without him, either (but I said that, already, didn't I?). I tired (I'm not sure why – I guess I got caught up in the moment), but I just couldn't see work without Tony joking around, pigging out on pizza, and leering at girls as they passed by the squad area.

I guess it's truly like they say – you don't know what you have until it's gone; but in my case, thankfully, it would be _almost_ gone. Once I realized that Dinozzo might one day not be there at his desk, I began to want to hear him pick on me. It's almost like his teasing is a sign that he's alive and well, and that's comforting to a point.

But, you can't dwell on the what-ifs, can you? At least you can't do it in this job – there are too many what-ifs to wrap your mind around. If you did think about it, you'd probably die.

All I know is that Kate had a lot of courage. She stayed with Tony (she even lied to him so he didn't feel too bad) until she absolutely had to leave. That just further proves how much she cares about Dinozzo.

But it wasn't all drama and tears, at least not in the beginning. When we were all in the decontamination showers, we were all discussing what the powder might have been in the letter. I was naming a lot of diseases, and then suddenly Dinozzo said 'honey dust'. Kate and I didn't know what that was, but Gibbs did – and he told us, too. Apparently he got a box of it last Christmas – no card. Dinozzo commented that the post office must have screwed up and sent someone else his bottle of Jack and then he got their honey dust – oh boy. I wonder who Dinozzo was sending that to. But anyway, I'm not going to think about that either; it was an awkward enough conversation, but we had it in the shower room too (talk about _weird_).

I digress. Dinozzo's alive and getting better, and that's all that matters. I better get some sleep before I pass out randomly. That would be really bad – Gibbs doesn't need another agent on sick leave. Speaking of that, don't tell anyone, but I can't wait for Dinozzo to at least be on desk duty. The office without him just isn't right. When he comes back, I'll be sure to be a little nicer, and heck, maybe I'll let him pick on me a little more than usual.

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**Well, what do you think? I personally don't think this was my best, but it's up to you.**

**Suggestions? Lemme have 'em.**

**GOT A TWITTER? Follow me at Partners_Fanfic (note the pesky underscore), and tweet me to let me know you're from FF. You can get a link straight to the Twitter page on my profile page. =)  
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	31. Laidback LA

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Whew! LOOOOOONG time no update. Sorry for that, but last week was so busy, I think I was able to put about a word down a day. I had a huge Bio test on Friday (which thankfully didn't cause me to go insane), so any hopes of writing on Friday were done, because I was burned out. Anywho, this is the last update of previous shows before I start writing about Season 8. Woo hoo! Read and enjoy!  
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*Set sometime during/soon after episode, **_**Legend, part 1**_** (ep. 6.22)***

_28 April 2009_

For once, I'm writing in the middle of a case, and for once, I'm _not_ writing from the computer of my desk at work or my desk at home – I'm writing in LA. Yep, that's right – for once, _I _got to go on a business trip, to Los Angeles nonetheless.

You see, our case started in DC as normal, but when I went to put out a BOLO on one of our suspects, my search results showed that NCIS already did that – except it wasn't us (as in the team). It turned out to be the NCIS undercover team out in LA. Gibbs talked to them, I believe, and arranged for him and another agent to go out there. Tony thought it was going to be him, of course, so imagine his surprise (and mine too) when Gibbs told me to pack my bags and get to the airport.

Of course, I was ecstatic to go. I haven't been in California since I went on vacation in college. Dinozzo had to kill my mood a little, though, by reminding me that I was going to be stuck on a plane for hours with _Gibbs_. All I could think about was how awkward that was going to be. I even picked up a boat magazine to read in hopes of starting some kind of conversation.

But of course, Dinozzo was just messing with my head. Gibbs slept the whole plane ride while I was sweating bullets about what I might have said to him if he woke up. I _was_ glad he slept though – it would have been too awkward to handle if I actually had to start a conversation with him.

Regardless of the plan ride, we got there in one piece. We had to go to the LA headquarters, and really it looked like an old warehouse or factor. But that was only because technically the LA office doesn't exist. How awesome is that?

And then, I met the LA team.

To be truthful, they weren't as frightening as I thought they might be. They were really laid-back for being federal agents, but I guess that's the just the whole West Coast mentality. Callen and Macy were a little intimidating at first, but from what I've heard Gibbs knew them from awhile ago, so I guess they should be intimidating (most people Gibbs knows are).

Callen – or G as many people call him (I'm assuming that's his first name) – is a little bit of a (alright, a lot of a) mystery. Everything about him seems to be a mystery, right down to his first name. He's like Gibbs in that sense, except Gibbs is quieter. But unlike Gibbs, Callen actually talks and explains what he's thinking about. He's definitely laidback too, maybe even a little more so than the rest of his team. But when it comes down to it, he knows how to work and work well.

Then there's Macy, who's basically Gibbs in female form. I'm not sure if she smiled twice since the case started. She doesn't seem to say much either, and I think she might even have some rules. She's definitely all business from what I've seen, and I'm just trying to stay out of her way.

Like I said before, Gibbs knows her from years ago (at least that's what Nate told me). I wonder what that's all about. It couldn't be that he dated her – after all, she's not a redhead. Maybe it's from when Gibbs first started working at NCIS. Oh well, I probably don't want to know the story anyway.

Other than Callen and Macy, there's Sam. He's a former Navy SEAL. If I wasn't working with him, I'd probably be intimidated by his mere presence. But other than the fact that he looks like a giant, he's a really nice guy – and he knows his stuff too. He and Callen seem to be close friends, so I'm guessing that they're partners, which is good I suppose.

Then there's Kensi, who's really the only woman field agent (Macy oversees things from the comfort of the office). She reminds me a lot of Ziva – I don't doubt that she could do some serious damage without even picking up a gun. She's a tomboy, I guess you can say, and would probably rather work on cars than talk about fashion. She seems a little impulsive to me, which usually isn't good in an agent, but she has intelligence to back it up.

And then there's Nate, the resident psychologist of their team. He doesn't do any field work, so I got to spend some time with him in the office. He's very perceptive (I guess that's a give, though) and he seems to know a lot more about his team's lives than he lets on. He's quiet, and doesn't talk very often (really only when he needs to), but when he does, he always has a lot of information to share.

And finally, there's the guy I can mostly relate to – Eric. He's their tech guru and general computer man, so he doesn't leave the office either. He's funny and generally a little crazier than the rest of the team. Abby would love him, but knowing her, she already knows him. Anyway, he's the only one (other than Abby) that actually understands what I say about computers, so it's good that I'm not completely alone out here in what I'm saying.

Since we're on the topic of technology, you should see the computers they have here in LA! They have a huge touch screen that you can put information on and move around with your fingertips. It was definitely up-to-date and just purely awesome. I told Gibbs that I wanted one for MTAC back in DC, but he said no – actually, I don't blame him because we'd probably have to lay off everyone in the building to afford it. But hey, a geek could dream, right?

Speaking of DC, I wonder what's going on back there. When Gibbs and I left Tony and Ziva had some kind of tension building between them, but I really don't know what it was. It was some kind of silent thing going on between the two of them that I'm not even sure _they_ could see. I'm sure that it's gotten worse since Gibbs and I left, seeing as though Gibbs isn't around to headslap the both of them for dealing with personal problems at work. I just hope Ziva doesn't kill Dinozzo before we get back.

I guess I should stop writing now – really I'm still in the middle of the case – before Gibbs catches me. I'd hate for him _and_ Macy to gang up on me for not working – I'm pretty sure I wouldn't live through that. but hey, I'm in LA right now – might as well relax a little, right?

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**Alright folks, what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Can't wait for Season 8? Lemme know.**

**Got a TWITTER? Follow me at Partners_Fanfic (there's a link on my profile), and tweet me. I'll tweet ya back.  
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	32. Going to Canada and Ending the Chase

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. Well, here's the first chapter for season 8! What did everyone think of the premiere? Read and enjoy!_**  
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**Set after episode, __**Spider and the Fly**__ (ep. 8.01)**_

_21 September 2010_

It's been a long summer. For most of it, the team and I have been trying to track down and arrest Paloma Reynosa, who seemed hell-bent on wrecking Gibbs' life one way or anything. It wasn't bad work trying to find her at first – as a matter of fact, it was a welcome change from our normal cases. But then, Gibbs sent me to Canada to make sure Paloma didn't cross over from the US.

Canada's a nice place, don't get me wrong. It's very scenic and definitely _a lot_ cooler than DC. But when it's the middle of September and there's _snow_ on the ground, it gets to be a little too much for me. I seriously don't know how people stand the weather up there. I mean, it was freezing _all the time_. I can tolerate the cold, but that was unreal.

Of course I didn't hear the end of it from Tony when I got back. I swear the man spend the whole time I was away looking up Canadian jokes. He never let up on them – even throughout the rest of the case.

But at least I got to travel for awhile. It was nice to break away from the concrete jungle of DC for at least a few weeks. Regardless of the snow and that stupid horse that wouldn't leave me alone, it was a nice trip (even if it was for work). Other than that time I went out to LA with Gibbs, I really never get a chance to travel outside of the area.

Anyway, Canadian trip aside, I'm glad that we finally caught Reynosa. She was getting to be a thorn in the whole team's side for awhile there. Seriously, I get that she was out for revenge, but enough was enough already.

I'm glad that Alejandro Rivera is behind bars too. He was way too confident of himself for his own good, and he needed to be knocked off his little diplomatic pedestal. Besides, he was crooked like his sister was, and he didn't deserve to be able to walk around freely just because of his position.

Not to mention, if he didn't get arrested, I personally would have killed him. Why? Because no one threatens Abby and gets away with it. I honestly couldn't believe he threatened her right in front of Gibbs like that! I would have said/done something myself, but I thought that Gibbs was going to punch him when he said that. But surprisingly, he controlled himself. I kind of wish Gibbs did injure him in some way though – it would have shown him not to mess with our team.

Speaking of Gibbs, I can't believe his plan to get Reynosa and Rivera worked! It was risky, for sure, and I don't think Gibbs trusted it entirely at first either. The plans was to trick Rivera into thinking Paloma was dead, but at the same time, make Paloma go to the safe house to wait to surprise Gibbs, his dad, and Franks.

So Rivera took the bait (as did Paloma), and when Rivera shot up the front of the safe house, he killed sister instead of Gibbs.

I know it seems a little cruel to make someone kill their own sister, but really someone was going to die anyway, and it most likely would have been Paloma. I try not to think about it too much though, because like I said – it was extremely cruel.

But regardless, we closed that operation (if you could even call it that). I guess it doesn't matter how you do it, just as long as you get the job done.

And now that we can all finally breathe easy know that Paloma and Rivera can't haunt any of us, Gibbs saw it fit to take some time off. If I'm not mistaken, he went up to his dad's house to help fix up the store (since Reynosa basically destroyed it).

I'm glad that Gibbs to some time off to spend with his father, personally. After all that he's been through in the past few months, he more than deserves to spend some time with family. Gibbs works all the time – it's not going to wreck the agency if he's away for a week or so.

I don't know the full back story to the whole Reynosa thing, but all I know is that it was a huge skeleton in Gibbs' closet. I'm pretty sure that Vance, Abby, and Ducky knew the whole story, but Ziva, Tony, and I never asked.

For Gibbs' sake, I'm glad it's over. I don't know that I would have been able to sleep at night knowing that someone was after me and my family. But he's Gibbs – I guess I should have expected him to handle things with ease. I'm sure he must have at least been pissed off though, and maybe even a tad fearful. But that's all over now, so he can go back to being his usual self.

It never ceases to amaze me how far Gibbs will go for people he cares about. I mean, he will do things that are practically beyond his power to get the criminal and secure his family's safety. Really, I admire that in a person, and especially in Gibbs (who makes it seem like the easiest thing in the world).

Well, I better go get some sleep. My whole sleep schedule has been thrown off and Abby said something about going up to Jackson's house this weekend to help Gibbs fix up the store. I'm going to need my sleep if we're going to be doing that. oh well, I guess it's better than chasing a drug cartel leader around the continent – honestly, anything is.

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**Sorry if it's not my best folks, but it was hard to write because McGee didn't play that huge of a role. Still, what did you all think?**

**Alright, from now on I'll be updating every week about the latest episode. Just an FYI for you.**

**TWITTER? Follow me at Partners_Fanfic (there's a link on my profile), and tweet me. =)  
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	33. Three Unaware Interns

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER, OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. Sorry that I didn't get this out earlier, but it's been SUPER busy with school...Seriously, all my weekend are hectic until about November. Anyway, guess who gets to write an essay on NCIS for school? MEEEE! I've never been so happy to get a writing assignment in my life ^.^ Anyway, I'll try to catch up with the chapters to match the episodes, but it might take awhile. So, for now, read and enjoy!  
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**Set after episode, **_**Worst Nightmare**_** (ep. 8.02)****

_27 September 2010_

Ahh, another case finished and yet another happy ending. What a great way to end the week. But, I guess I'll just get straight to the point.

I'll admit it – I kind of liked having those interns around (alright, maybe I liked it more than a little). I know that at least two of them will only be around for a week (minus Conrad, who Gibbs and I gave that internship application to), but it was fun while it lasted to _not_ be the newest guy in the office. And not to mention, have three people around who didn't know what to expect when they met each member of the team, especially Gibbs.

Abby's intern was a little on the strange side, but he and Abby ended up getting along rather well after Abby laid down her rules and gave him bells to wear (I must admit, that was sort of an ingenious idea – I should get some bells for Dinozzo so I know when he's coming).

Ducky's intern was so like him, it was scary. Seriously, if she were a little (ok, maybe _a lot_) older, I could see those two dating each other (but, I'm not going to think about that, because it's creepy). Anyway, she seemed to have a story to tell about everything too, and I know that Ducky just loved hearing them. I'm pretty sure that Palmer's glad to see her go, though. He seemed to not like that Ducky took to the girl more than Ducky takes to Palmer. He even seemed to feel a little out of place in autopsy, poor Palmer, considering the fact that he kept bugging me and the rest of the team the whole case.

But enough about the autopsy intern, seeing as though I still need to talk about another one – Conrad, the intern that followed the team and I around. At first, he didn't even want to be here – apparently he missed class signups or something – and that made me think he was going to be just another daddy's boy going through college just to wave a degree around at the end. But then, by some kind of change of heart I still haven't placed yet, Conrad began to actually like the job. I don't know what changed his mind – I have a strange suspicion that it has something to do with Gibbs – but he did, and I could tell that he liked the internship even more than the other two.

So, I went to Gibbs with internship papers for him, thinking I'd be nice. It was a little bit of a risk on my part, seeing as though Gibbs _never_ agrees to do that kind of stuff, but I noticed that Gibbs has been acting different lately. So, I gave it a shot, and to my surprise, Gibbs filled out the forms for me and everything. He even kind of told Conrad that he filled it out for him. As un-Gibbs-like as that was, Conrad seemed extremely happy to get the papers, and I know that last week wasn't the last time I'll be dealing with him.

Speaking of Gibbs, though, it amazed me that he even let interns follow us around for a week. Everyone knows Gibbs as the type that doesn't like anyone at all to pester his team – hell, he seems to just barely tolerate _us_ sometimes, let alone people he doesn't know. Yet, he was nice to the interns and filled those papers out for Conrad – weird.

I wonder what's going on with Gibbs. He's been acting very strange lately – he's actually been _nice_. In all the years I've known Gibbs, he's only been 'nice' a few times, and even that was short-lived and immediately following some sort of tragedy. I wonder what's going on now – on second thought, I probably don't even want to know.

So on that note, I guess I'll talk about the case. Basically, a girl was abducted from her school (weird, I know), and someone her grandfather knew was the one who took her. It took three of her grandfather's men to die to finally catch up with Nick (her grandfather) and set up a plan to get the girl back to her family.

It was a really odd case, only because of the fact that her grandfather seemed to always be one step ahead of us, yet still on our side. I know it gave me a lot of extra work, seeing as though I was dealing with a guy who sure as hell knew how to avoid being tracked down.

It would have been an extremely stressful case too, had it not been for the interns providing some much needed comic relief. Abduction cases are always hard to deal with, considering that there's always the time-related pressure on you – especially when there's a little girl involved.

I'm surprised that Gibbs was as calm as he was. Usually he walks around yelling at everyone for being too slow during kidnapping cases, but unpredictably he kept himself under control. But oh well, I guess wonders never cease.

I'm also shocked that Gibbs wasn't angrier at the girl's grandfather. I mean, he hates it when people keep secrets from him, especially when there's a case involved. Yet this time, he didn't really seem too pissed off about it. Maybe it comes from the fact that Gibbs had a daughter – after all, he probably would have done the same thing. I'll give Gibbs that; when it comes to people's children, Gibbs is very understanding when parents try to take things into their own hands (to a certain extent).

But, I digress – I really should get off the work computer right now before Dinozzo comes back from his 'break'. We're supposed to be working on paperwork, but you know Dinozzo – he just runs away every time Gibbs leaves. All in all though, it was an interesting case – made even more interesting by three _very_ unaware interns.

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**Alright, not my best, I know, but what did you think? Leave me some good vibes =)**

**Twitter? Follow me at Partners_Fanfic ... I'm kind of cool, I guess..I'll tweet ya back. =)  
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	34. Poster Boys and Bomb Technicians

**_DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN NCIS._**

_EAJP here. HAPPY HALLOWEEN (to those that celebrate it, of course)! I wanted to do the Halloween episode to publish today, but I've been super busy lately, so I decided just to finish this one, since i started it about a week ago. Anyway, what's everyone dressing up as for Halloween? I'm a black cat. Meow. Read and enjoy!  
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**Set after episode, **_**Short Fuse**_** (ep. 8.03)****

_5 October 2010_

You know, if I don't have to deal with another bomb/bomb technician for the rest of my career here at NCIS, well, I'd be alright with that. I'd also be alright will not seeing a cardboard cutout of Tony, too. Yeah, as far as cases (and workweeks) go, this week was a little on the crazy side.

The craziness started even before we got the case. Apparently, public relations chose Dinozzo – of all people – to be the poster boy of NCIS for college and high school fairs and things like that. So that meant that a photographer, lighting guys, and this PR man had to keep following Dinozzo around taking pictures of him doing his job (I know… 'doing his job' isn't something he does very often when we don't have a case). He, in typical Dinozzo fashion, soaked up all the attention he could get from it (which was completely annoying, if you ask me. Even Ziva agreed).

Honestly though, I'm not surprised that at first, the public relations office picked him to be the 'face of NCIS'. As much as I make fun of him, I can see how using him for the poster would be beneficial. As much as I hate to admit it, he's not a bad looking guy (and he doesn't have a completely horrible personality after all – I mean, I don't _hate_ him or anything). He's a little bit of a goofball (alright, maybe a lot), but he seems like the type of guy any agency (government or not) would use for an ad of some sort. Look around at all the commercials and posters for different companies – all the guys in are buff, well-groomed, and have that 'All-American' look to them. And that would certainly summarize Tony's appearance.

But I digress. His looks aren't that important – at least to me (maybe to Ziva). So as he was getting his picture taken, we got a case of a dead home invader. When we got there, we found out that the owner of the home (the EOD technician) shot the guy because he broke into her house. She had really nice aim too – the guy was dead because of three shots to the heart.

I could tell – in all my apparent obviousness – that this Heather woman would be a tough person to get the truth out of. She wasn't shaken up at all, considering the fact that she just killed a man. Then again, she risks her life all the time with bombs and such, so I guess that this wasn't such a nerve-wracking experience for her.

Anyway, she lied to us throughout practically the whole investigation. She lied about who she was with, who they were to her – everything. I've never seen a more private person in my life – and that's saying something, because I know Gibbs. I really didn't understand why she was lying, either. It's not like we were trying really hard to arrest her or anything – we were just trying to help her.

But anyway, after we finally got the straight truth, we found her in a barn with the man who hurt brother and paralyzed him. She had a bomb strapped to his leg that would go off if she moved, and apparently she had him there for awhile. Yeah I know, sadistic.

It turns out the bomb was fake. Heather just wanted to make the guy feel like her brother did every day – helpless and unable to move. I guess it made sense in a way – after all, she really cared about her brother.

See? I told you it was one hell of a case. It's always complicated when people try to take justice into their own hands. I don't understand why they do that either – well, I do and I don't. I understand the feeling of wanting revenge, but I don't understand why they don't just leave it to the professionals. After all, we can do the job better and safer than anyone else. But oh well. It might make the job harder, but it always proves to make an interesting case.

It may have just been me, but I couldn't help but notice how Heather the scary bomb technician kind of reminded me of another female Gibbs (there seems to be a lot of them, doesn't there?).

Think about it, the woman didn't even care when she killed a guy she didn't even know in her own home, and if she did, she had hid it extremely well. Gibbs is kind of like that – he kills people and doesn't seem to think twice, seeing as though they deserve the bullet.

And there there's the whole privacy thing. While Heather might have taken privacy to the extreme, Gibbs is private too. I've known him for years now and I can't say that I know where he goes after work or what he does when he leaves the office (other than go home, drink bourbon, and build his boat that is).

Of course, there's the whole 'protect and avenge family' mentality that I know Gibbs has too. I mean, I think Gibbs was in some sort of admiration for Heather when he saw what she did to that guy we arrested. And I know for a fact Gibbs would kill/maim anyone who ever tried to hurt any of his team members or family.

Like I said, I might be the only one to notice the resemblance. But I do know for certain that the best part of the case was the end – when Dinozzo found out that he was no longer the poster boy of NCIS.

Yeah, after all the work, Vance didn't think that Dinozzo represented the agency correctly. Instead, he chose Gibbs. Yes, Gibbs. They used a picture of him that the photographer took what seemed like accidently and put it on the pamphlets. Ziva and I got a kick out of that. No offense to Dinozzo, but Gibbs does represent the agency better. He's like, the ideal agent; he has all the qualities you'd expect to see in a federal agent. I wonder what Gibbs thinks of all this though…

Anyway, I'd best be off. There's a lot of paperwork to do and I promised Abby I'd watch her bowl tonight. Let's just hope the next case is as interesting – if not more interesting – than this one. I could use some more humor in my life.

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**What did you think? Like it? Love it? Lemme know ^.^**

**I'm writing a oneshot called 'Never Have I Ever' based on Ziva, Tony, Abby, and McGee playing the game (it goes with a chapter to my other story, Weathering the Weather). Anyway, if you have suggestions as to statements each person should say for 'never have I ever' please let me know about them. I suck at coming up with these things and your ideas are inspiration. Lemme know =)  
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